The Three Miracles

Day 3- Moving Forward

2009-06-29T12:47:00.003-04:00

Friday came. The first thing scheduled this morning was the all convention photo. Everyone was to wear red and white. I got up first thing in the morning, grabbed my suitcase and headed out the door. A HUGE storm hit on my way to convention. The rain was intense. The ride that was supposed to take me about 35 minutes. It ended up taking me over 90 minutes! I missed the photo and the Chatty Cathy photo after that. I was disappointed but thankful that I arrived safely at the hotel.

I checked into the hotel and went up to my room. I only stayed in the hotel two of the four nights of convention.

Friday was a good day. Business meetings were... ummm... interesting. Amending, amended, amendments. Big fun! Ha! A wonderful Adventures in Sisterhood Luncheon was enjoyed. I LOVED hearing the PIP stories. I was fortunate to be able to spend a little time with Peg Crawford and reminisce about the time we spent together at Gamma Theta back in 1985 and 1986. She is such an amazingly charming, and energetic woman! I wish I had 1/10th of her strength and energy! The time I spent with her at IC, I will carry with me forever. She is such a joy.

After the convention activities for the day were done, a group of Gamma Theta's headed out for the evening. We went to Stump's for dinner. It was so nice! Several sisters who live locally, but did not attend convention joined us for dinner. After dinner, we headed over to Howl At The Moon for some laughs, conversation and drinks. It was so neat to see so many gathered with a common history. The 25th Anniversary for Gamma Theta Installation is a year from September. Maybe this IC convention will be the proper catalyst to make the anniversary a big, wonderful experience shared by many.

Friday certainly made up for the difficult day on Thursday. I am glad I continued to push ahead.

Did They Share the Adventure? - Day 2

2009-06-25T15:42:00.002-04:00

Day Two... not really sure what to write. I can't believe today happened the way it did. It was not what I expected but more what I feared.

I have been waffling back and forth as to what to write. You see, today was... difficult. I don't regret going to IC today. I am glad I went. I just had an experience that taught me a lot... and showed the side of me I like to hide.

I was alone in a room full of sisters.

Maybe I will explain more later. Maybe I won't.

I have faith that tomorrow will be better.

Day 1... did it Exceed the Expectation?

2009-06-25T15:25:00.002-04:00

Wednesday morning came fast. I had not slept well. I was too excited. I got up, got dressed... looked kinda cute too..ha!... and headed out the door. I could not believe I was actually heading to IC! WOW!! I had seen countless pictures of Conventions gone by. I had read countless stories from the past. The images came flooding into my head with eager anticipation. It was strange... similar to all of those goofy feelings we have as anxious kids going to a new friend's house for the first time.

I arrived at the hotel and gingerly went upstairs to check in. I was handed some papers and sent to another location to get the rest of my materials for the week. I hustled over to my "mailbox" and peeked inside, unsure of what treasures would lie inside.

LO AND BEHOLD.....

I was shocked and pleased to find that 6 different people... only one who I knew personally, had honored me with Rose Tributes. I could not believe it! Heck, I had only heard a little about what these were up to now... and here I was at my first IC being so surprised. What a fantastic way to start the day!

As the day progressed, things went well. I volunteered for 2 hours working on making preparations for the candle lighting ceremony that evening. It was nice to be able to participate in such a unique and special way. Then, I went to a meeting for Corp. Boards. It was neat to be surrounded by others who volunteer their time in a similar way. I learned a lot.. and found the dialogue interesting.

I was two for two for the day.

During the day I met two sisters who I had only previously known online. They were warm, gracious and spent some time with me. It was nice. I felt I had begun to make friends. I now KNEW people at convention. I was no longer worried about being awkward and alone in a room full of sisters. I talked to people. I moved out of my comfort zone of being insecure and just did it! I ended the day by attending the candle lighting ceremony. It was so special... something I had never seen before.

Day One was a success. I could not wait to see what Day Two would hold for me. I went home feeling strong, happy and relieved.

I felt renewed in my bonds to AOII.

IC Part One

2009-06-25T15:17:00.002-04:00

Well, it is IC week. I have been looking forward to this for two years. Two years ago I envisioned this experience quite differently than reality has caused it to be. Life changes. It twists and turns in unexpected directions. It is to be expected. I spent countless hours scouring the malls for everything I needed to make sure I had exactly what I needed... one white outfit - Check, one LBD - Check, business attire - check, white close toed shoes - check.......

On Tuesday night I could barely sleep. I was excited, nervous and hoping for a wonderful time. I ran around the house making preparations for the days ahead.

For being a member of AOII for 23 years, this was my first convention. I had no idea what to expect. I just wanted to take it all in, meet people and enjoy the time.

What happened next I could never have imagined.

My Kids

2009-03-10T14:14:00.002-04:00

This is what they do when I am out of my classroom in the mornings for meetings.

My sweet baby girl and her new glasses. She LOVES them! She said her eyes work now! They are purple. According to Miss M. the princesses wear purple glasses. Gotta love her!

Alone in a Room Full of Sisters

2009-03-08T21:32:00.002-04:00

One of the things I love is being a member of my sorority, AOII. This is something that has always been a source of great pride to me. That being said, I am far from your stereotypical sorority girl. I never have been. Many are surprised to learn that I am in a sorority. I find this interesting and funny.

In 1985 I headed off to college. I was young, enthusiastic and ready to face the world. I moved into the dorm and started to meet people and make friends. One of the friends I made was VERY interested in joining a sorority. She wanted to go through Rush but didn't want to go it alone. She asked me if I would go with her. I said I would, but had absolutely NO interest in pledging. I was going to support my friend. I did not see myself as someone a sorority would be interested in. I was very insecure, really. I didn't think any of these groups would find me "worthy" of being a member.

Much to my shock I was asked back to different groups during each round of rush parties. I couldn't believe it. When it was time to go to the last round of parties, Prefs, I was now going through Rush alone. My friend had decided this wasn't for her... but I kept going. I went to two Pref parties, AOII and Chi O. Each group was very different, but special in their own way. I remember looking at my selection card after Prefs and wondering what would happen next. I selected AOII as my first choice. After getting to know the girls, it just seemed like the right fit. They were friendly, kind and open to ME. I was so worried about whether they would want me, too.

Bid day came and I could hardly wait. When I opened up my envelope and so the words "Alpha Omicron Pi" I was ecstatic!! They wanted me. I wanted them. I went to the room where all of the girls were waiting and was greeted by the best reception ever. I knew immediately I had made the right choice.

During the next 24 years I slowly became involved as an Alumna. I first started about 10 years after graduation joining an Alumna Chapter. I did a few things here and there with them. The local AC was not a very active and strong group. It waxed and waned over the years. It didn't really give me the opportunities to become close with other sisters after college.

7 years ago one of my pledge sisters contacted me. She was heading up the Corporation Board for our chapter's new home. We had never had a house before so this was a big deal. She asked me to help. So, for the past 6 years I have been the VP of the Corporation Board. It has given me the chance to feel like I am involved again. Now, it is far from a popular position. It does not make you the most desireable person to the collegiates. I didn't mind, because I have always loved my sisterhood. I knew that, in the long run, I was helping to give back.

Now, is where I get to the part of being alone. In all of these years I have always been involved on the periphial. I have not been the most visible AOII around campus or meetings. I have done fulfilled my responsibilities proudly. (That is what made it easy to become a Life Loyal, the pride I have in being an AOII.)

For many, many years I have wanted to attend an International Convention. It is something I have never had the opportunity or, truth be told, the confidence to do. As proud as I am of being an AOII, I am insecure in being active.

I sit here, form filled out, waiting to push the submit button on my first IC registration and I am terrified. I don't know anyone personally who is going to IC and staying at the hotel. I so want to be totally immersed in this experience, but I worry about being alone in a room full of sisters. It is kind of like being the new kid at school. Where do you sit at a meal? Who will say hello to you as you walk in the room? Will you be accepted and welcomed or alone on the side??

Silly.

But true.

I can't wait to go to my first IC. Regardless of my feelings of insecurity, I am GOING! I am going to do my best to put myself into the fray. -to put myself into the conversaion. -to once again walk into that room full of sisters and feel so excited to be one of the group of women that I have always so loved. I am looking forward, with much excitement and fear, to being a wanted and welcomed member of my sisterhood again.

I love Alpha Omicron Pi, it's ideals, values and members.

International Convention... here I come.

YIKES!!

Separated at Birth?????

2008-12-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

Guess What.......

2008-11-04T11:33:00.002-05:00

Did you????

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T10:50:00.005-04:00

Happy Halloween from our home to yours!

James is wearing his football uniform. His team just finished the regular season 10-0. They are the number one seed heading into the post season. Very exciting. His 12th (gulp) birthday is November 11th. I am taking him to see Phantom of the Opera on 11/9. He has been talking about it. The final straw was when he left the Performing Arts Center window up on my work computer with a note saying that this "looks cool". Hint, hint, huh? James just finished his first quarter of middle school and kicked some serious butt. He is taking three periods of Gifted, Advanced Math, Band, and Reading. What a smarty pants. Obviously intellect is not hereditary since he is significantly smarter than his parents.

Riley is ObiWan Kenobi. He looks too freakin' cute! He was on the announcements at school this morning in his costume for having read 2oo books so far this school year. What a hoot! He asked if he can eat candy for dinner tonight. Umm... that would be a NO! He is loving the cooler weather. Oh... and he has a MASSIVE crush on his teacher. She can do no wrong in his eyes. Talk about sweet. Riley just finished his first season of flag football. His team didn't win a game, but they had a blast. He LOVES his trophy. He has it displayed next to his pet hamster, Schnicklefritz's home. He wants to make sure his little buddy can see it at all times. He is one funny fellow.

Madeline is a princess. Ummm... well... hmmm.... We shall see. She picked out the costume but really is a non-conformist like her mother. I have a sinking feeling she will be outside tonight in her candy corn shirt, jeans and sparkly princess shoes without a princess costume. Madeline will turn three next Wednesday. Talk about breaking a Mama's heart. How on Earth did we get to this point. It is just overwhelming. She is too darn smart, too. She knows her colors, counts past ten, recognizes several letters, has an opinion on EVERYTHING and sings, sings, sings. She knows the days of the week in English and Spanish... she can also count in Spanish. Her teacher at school is bilingual and teaches the kids both languages. What a sponge!

Jerry is being ever patient with all of my drama. He is a good guy. (Don't tell him I said that or I will deny it.)

I am revving up for surgery on November 21st. I am sooooo ready to get this over with. I am looking forward to feeling better.

Enjoy the weekend with your family. We will be coming down from a sugar high.

Kisses!

Nuclear Stress Test.. not so good

2008-10-22T08:19:00.002-04:00

Okay, I have been having cardiac concerns for a few weeks now. With the 911 call and two days later a visit to the ER a few EKG's, and MRI, and more, I knew a cardiologist visit was soon to follow. A week ago Monday I had my first visit. Loved him! He asked a million questions, was proactive and really wanted to get to the bottom of what is going on. So... last Wednesday and Thursday I spent the days sporting a fashionable and quite trendy heart monitor. Let me tell you... I can rock a holter! ha! Being the clausterphobic person I am, it was not fun... but I just did it. I knew it would give more information to figure out what was going on. I thought.. whew! If I can do this the rest will be easy.

Silly me.

This past Monday I was scheduled for an Echocardiogram with bubble (sounds fun, huh? I love bubbles!) and a Nuclear Stress Test. The doctor said to expect about a 4 hour visit. Jerry went with me... cause you know this is causing him to worry and panic.... and all was off to a good start.

I was hooked up to the cath thingy in my arm. Radioactive stuff was sent in.... then off for the Echo. Well... during the echo the cath sprung a leak. Nothing like a little blood going all over me and the room. Very exciting. People came running, trying to get it to stop. Jerry looked like he had had enough at this point. I felt fine... just hoping it wasn't getting on my cute little skort. (You know... that is important during all of this! PRIORITIES!) They get the geyser to stop and continue the test. What should have been about 10 minutes ended up taking about 40. The good part of this was we only had to wait another 5 minutes before the Stress Test guy came to get me.

So... into the big revolving chair I went. This is not designed for short people. With my arms above my head, feet dangling, I was told it would be about 20+ minutes I had to sit completely still in this machine. SO... I tried to get comfortable (ya right!) and find my Zen like place to ride out this part of the test. I did it. No problem. Things were looking UP!!

Next, they took me to the treadmill. I was hooked up to my second set of electrodes for the day. The fun part this time was when they used the human sand paper to make sure they had a good contact. It hurt!!!! I was tough and joked around the entire time. They explained to me that the test would contain an initial 3 minute warm-up walk and then the treadmill would get faster and be on a more steep angle. They would be monitoring my vitals and give me more radioactive "stuff" when I reached optimum heart rate. They said the test could last as long as 30 minutes. So, I get on the treadmill and start walking. I fell confident.. and somewhat athletic. (I think I look GOOD walking all confident and tall.) Less than 2 minutes into the test the Dr. starts acting quite alarmed.

Well... my heart decided to jump to above the optimum rate in less than two minutes. This is virtually unheard of for people of my delicate age. The Dr. sent the Tech over to me. He asked how I was feeling... and then my ears went numb. Hmmm... guessing this isn't a good sign. ;-) So.. the Dr. decided that was it! Test done! In less than 3 minutes my Nuclear Stress test was ended.

No clue.

I go back next Monday to discuss results and to figure out the next steps. They offered me no information, insight or options.

I am thinking it will be fine. I know it is probably something that a little pill can help.

No worries... just don't want to do that stress test again. It tends to scare everyone around me. I was fine, but everyone else in the room was not.

I don't like to make things easy for people.

WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-19T23:47:00.000-04:00

The Rays are going to the WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!

Update Craziness

2008-10-13T14:21:00.003-04:00

Well, here it is.. a long awaited post. Who is waiting for it, I don't know... but thought I would update regardless. :-)

My health has been up and down. Surgery is scheduled for November 21st. I can't wait!

I am hoping my recent issues will not postpone the surgery.

Last Monday night I had some type of cardiac distress. My poor family had to call 911. It seems that my blood pressure is sky rocketing and then plummeting.

Last Wednesday my mother had to take me to the ER. Again my blood pressure was very high. (bottom number was over 100) I was also having chest pain and tightness. I spent about 10 hours at the hospital. Nitroglycerin finally brought my blood pressure down and helped with the chest pains.

So.... I am heading to a cardiologist today. We shall see.

I am concerned that my surgery will have to be postponed until some answers are found.

In the midst of all of this we are in birthday party planning mode for Madeline (11/5) and James (11/11). It is hard to believe Madeline will be 3 and James will be 12. Where has the time gone???

Halloween costumes are purchased. I will try to post pictures when the time comes.

Thanks for checking in. I miss writing... but need to concentrate on my health.

Hugs and Kisses!

Check Me OUT!!

2008-09-15T20:06:00.001-04:00

1978, yeah baby!!!!
1988 and WORKING it!
1954 and looking better than ever!

I even looked good in the 1960's!! Wooohooooo!!

Check it out!!! http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Girly Information Ahead!

2008-09-13T13:14:00.002-04:00

Okay.. if you don't want to hear about "feminine" issues then don't read this post. It won't be a long one.... but will give some info. to those who know me.

1st - having major issues with my monthly visitor. All tests came back normal.. but the Dr. is thinking we may need to do a hysterectomy. I have had my friend visiting since MAY!!!

2nd - The Dr. found two lumps. I had to have diagnostic tests and ultrasounds. Lumps are benign. Still caused major fear and stress. Whew! Glad that is over...

3rd - As I stated previously I have E- Coli. This has caused so many different little annoyances. The meds are working and I am on the mend.

4th - Symptoms of Menopause - I have been having night sweats, hot flashes and overall ick. (added to the never ending period!!) This has caused a lot of added issues for the Dr. to weed through to try to figure out what is going on.

I head to the surgeon at the end of the month. Hopefully we will get some clear direction and timeline at that time. Thank goodness my family is supportive, loving and patient!

Diagnosis #1

2008-09-08T18:36:00.004-04:00

E Coli

It took almost two weeks to get this first diagnosis of what is going on with me. Well.. now we wait for the results of last weeks tests and today's tests.

I am going on some high dosage antibiotics for the next few weeks. We shall see.

Please send prayers and positive thoughts

2008-09-03T19:15:00.002-04:00

Dr. appointment today brought out a few new health concerns as well as forced more tests for the original concerns.

Sooo.... Monday will be spent having a plethora of diagnostic tests that will hopefully show that is all well. (Power of positive thinking! :-) )

Kids are great.... active, happy and healthy.

Madeline will be baptized this coming Sunday.

Jerry is working like a crazy man.

Everyone is just plugging along.

God bless.....

Quick Update

2008-08-25T16:47:00.002-04:00

We lost our sweet dog, Holly, today. She was 15. She was the most patient dog. She will be missed.

School has started. James started middle school. Riley is in 1st grade.

We are all sick right now. Great timing with losing Holly, huh?

I have been going through some challenging health issues. Your positive thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. More tests to come.

A very close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer one month ago. She had a double mastectomy last week.

Life has been challenging.

Taking a Break

2008-08-01T16:12:00.001-04:00

Alot going on here... big things.

Be back soon.

Miss you

Then and Now

2008-07-10T14:06:00.005-04:00

Let Go, Let God

2008-07-08T13:20:00.004-04:00

I was listening to the radio earlier and a song came on that got me thinking. The song is a Christian song about releasing your plans and dreams. The actual song wasn't that moving to me, but the initial hook got my brain going.

When I was younger I had plans. My plans included marriage, having a house full of children, a successful job, big house, surrounded by friends and family. Now, in some ways all of my plans have been fulfilled. They have not, though, been fulfilled as I envisioned all of those years ago.

Jerry and I have been married for 18 years. We have been together for 22 years. During those years we have changed tremendously. We are VERY fortunate. We have watched friends and family marry and divorce. We have seen couples grow apart. We are so very blessed that our marriage has sustained. Not only has our marriage lasted, but we are closer and stronger than ever before. Yes, we argue. (I am usually in the right! HA!!) Yes, we are not the same people who met all of those years ago. We have changed drastically.... but we have changed together and never lost sight of our relationship.

When we were engaged we went to counseling through the Catholic church. We completed individual inventories on life and marriage expectations. We both wanted a big family. We both wanted 6 (gulp) kids. We both wanted to start getting pregnant about a year after marriage. We were both on the same page when it came to family.

We didn't see fertility issues in our future... why should we? We were both young and healthy. We never once even considered that this could be part of our life path. About 10 months after getting married we started "trying". We no longer used birth control. We just let life take it's course for 4 years before we really considered the possibility that something could be causing us to not get pregnant.

Eventually we decided to start having some tests run. It took about a year before we were finally told we had a 1 in 10 million chance of conceiving. Hmmm.. now, I am no Mathematician, but those odds just didn't sound good. We decided to buck the system and have IUI anyway. We took meds. Jerry gave me injections. On the day decided in a room full of doctors, interns and nurses we were inseminated. Two weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test result. We were elated. We were back on track.... for having those babies we so dearly wanted.

Nine weeks later I started bleeding... ALOT. I passed something big. It was obvious I was having a miscarriage... but I just couldn't believe it. We called our OB. We went to the ER. They did an ultrasound.... and there he was, JAMES! His little peanut body had a beautifully flickering heart! I had lost a baby.. and one remained. We had not known previously that I was pregnant with twins. That didn't even matter at that point. I was still pregnant. My baby was still growing inside me even though his sibling had left us. I spent the next 6 weeks in bed.

On November 11, 1996 James was born. He came into this world strong and healthy. He did not scream. He came here pensive and thoughtful. He is still that way today.

One year later we tried again. We get pregnant 3 more times in the next 18 months and miscarried within weeks each time.

We took some time off from fertility treatments. We enjoyed watching our son grow and change.

In 2001 we decided to try again. After 2 miscarriages we decided to stop for a few months. In January of 2002 we decided to try again.

I got pregnant. On February 6th I had a tubal rupture. I was rushed to the hospital. I had major internal bleeding. When they wheeled me into the OR, Jerry was told I might not make it.

Life changed instantly.

4 weeks before my tubal rupture a little boy was born in NanNing, GuangXi, People's Republic of China.

We didn't begin our adoption voyage until 2003. We decided it was not worth risking my life in order to add children to our family. Adoption, which had never been discussed before became our changed plan. God knew that we were stubborn. He knew that we would not see adoption as our journey unless He sent us a big message. My tubal rupture was that message.

Riley was born January 11, 2002. I had to have that rupture because MY baby had already been born in China. He was waiting for me... for us.... for his mother, father and brother.

During our initial adoption journey we requested an infant daughter. During our wait, James told us over and over again he wanted a brother. We had to explain to him, countless times, that he would have a sister.

When our referral call came, our lives were shook in a way I never imagined. The voice on the other end of the line told us that our infant daughter was actually a 2 year old son. James had his brother!! We had to repaint, redecorate and shop, shop, shop!!

We thought we knew the plan to our family but God knew better.

Riley was placed in our arms at 28 months old. He has filled our hearts and lives ever since.

During our wait for Riley, Jerry and I knew that this would be our last child. haha Silly. You would think we would have learned by now that we had to let God show us the way.

The minute we stepped foot in China in May of 2004 we knew we would return. It was a given. No hesitation. No real discussion. We both were certain that we would return again to bring home another child that God had chosen for us.

In 2005 we started the journey to Madeline. We had learned over and over again that all would work out just as it should. We knew that our child would come to us... male or female, young or older... our child was waiting.

Madeline has added a new dimension to our lives we never saw coming. She is strong, sassy and whew!!! temperamental. Jerry calls her my Mini Me. There is more truth in that then I really care to acknowledge! (Don't tell him I said so!!)

In the last 22 years years we have Let Go and Let God many times. We made a move to a city we really didn't know at all... because we Let God lead us there. It has turned out to be the BEST move we could have ever made. Our children are happy. We have amazing friends and neighbors. We have all grown and blossomed as individuals since we moved. It was more than we could have ever expected.

After the move I took the leap of faith and changed school districts. I had been with the same district for 16 years! It was my comfort zone. I applied in the district of our new home. I was offered a job at our neighborhood school. I was scared to make this change... but I Let God lead me. This has been the best move. I work with amazing people. I have an outstanding principal. The boys have thrived.

Whenever we have Let Go and Let God lead us life has given us greater rewards and riches than we could have ever imagined our planned for ourselves.

We planned our life... but the plans we had made don't come close the the reality we have lived. Jerry and I sit together at night after all has quieted down around us and just marvel in our blessings. We appreciate and cherish all that we have been given. We know that the obstacles that have been placed in our way were there to lead us to this place of grace.

Life is good.

Girls Weekend

2008-06-27T15:42:00.002-04:00

I am off for the Girls Weekend with my wonderful friends from work. Really, this could not come at a better and a worse time.

The good part of this is that I am really in need of some positive friend interaction. After the stress with my other friend, I need this. I am looking forward to some laid back laughs with the girls. This is a very eclectic group, too. I think it makes it all the more fun. We will range in age from 26 to 41. Two of us are the oldies at 41. We are all married. Three of us have kids and two do not. All of us taught together this past year. Not once did we have any ill will or stress between us. It was really a fantastic year. I am looking forward to this short little trip tremendously.

The bad part is that we return Sunday night. We are heading to Disney Monday morning. I have been trying to get as much together for our trip as possible. Jerry will take the kids to a family party on Saturday. I am hoping he will complete the short "Honey Do" list I am leaving before I get home on Sunday. It would be a terrific help. Really, it isn't that much... but for him, flying solo with our three miracles and a list.. that can be alot. Women have no problem doing this but men... well at least for my man... it is a lot. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I don't know if I will be able to post again before heading out on our great Disney adventure... but I will try.

Yeah!! Girls Weekend is HERE!!!!

Unrecognizable, Incomprehensible

2008-06-27T09:02:00.003-04:00

I wrote not long ago about my friend. I have been twisted in knots over her struggles. It is a difficult place to be. You want to be there for someone struggling yet you need to protect your children, your family first.

I had decided to just call once a week or so to check in.... to keep the lines of communication open.

I have changed my mind.

This friend is someone that I have spoken with almost daily for years. She can just breath into the phone and I know it is her. We just know each others voices well.

I called her yesterday. First, I called her home phone and there was no answer. This was at about 5:15 pm. She is home by 4:30-5:00 each day from work... well, when she goes to work that is. When she didn't answer her home phone I called her cell phone. She answered.

Well, she answered but I could barely understand anything she said. She had no clue who I was. I was shocked. I was actually talking.. not just a "Hey!" into the phone. I was talking in complete sentences, saying her name and then my name. She had no clue who I was. She kept rambling on for a while until I finally understood bits and pieces of what she was saying.

She said she had been sleeping. (NO way.. she was certainly "on" something. This was not groggy talk.)

She said her father was having a stint put in on Tuesday. (Wrong again! Last Tuesday the doctors were unsuccessful in their attempt to put in a stint. He was being moved to a rehab facility until her mother decides whether or not to transfer him out of state for medical assistance.)

She said that she had just mowed her lawn. (Ummm... in a torrential downpour? In the 45 minutes she had been home from work AND took a nap? No chance.)

I have to walk away.

I am going to call her one final time. I am going to tell her that if she needs me, to call. I am going to tell her that I love her. I am going to hang up the phone and cry. And then I am going to hug and kiss my babies.

I really do not want to do this. I don't want to walk away from my "sister" but I can not do this to myself or my family. My 11 year old is old enough to know something is wrong. My children love my friend. I can't allow them to watch her crumble.

I feel a twinge of guilt... but I know I am doing the right thing.

Sometimes doing what is right stinks and is painful and comes with pieces of guilt, but it is still right.

Getting Ready

2008-06-21T15:04:00.003-04:00

We are slowly but surely getting ready for our big trip to Disney World. We are going to spend a week taking in the sun and fun. We will be staying at the Saratoga Springs Resort and Spa. This is where we are members of the Disney Vacation Club. (Best money we have spent in a long time...)

Jerry and I used to take in all things Disney prior to having kids. We would spend the weekend in O'Town every chance we got. We have always enjoyed the Disney experience... though we know not everyone enjoys it like we do. We have continued this each year as our family grew. Riley went to Disney about 6 weeks after arriving home from China. Madeline's first trip was about 3 months later.

We have spent the first week of July at Disney several times. It is always so much fun. Is there anything more American than Disney? (I know, baseball, apple pie and Mom.. but you get my drift.) Celebrating the 4th there is just so different. We love it. There are cookouts by the pools, amazing fireworks displays, red, white and blue EVERYWHERE! We love it.

So, we have been booking activities to fill our time. We will probably go to the parks 3 days. We will celebrate the 4th at a Luau at the Polynesian Resort. We will do the Ohana character breakfast, too on another day. We will probably take in some miniature golfing, swim a ton and just bum around the Disney property. Our resort has movie nights outside which we will enjoy. We may even take the boys horseback riding.

Our preparations are a little different now that we belong to the Vacation Club. We will be bringing breakfast and lunch stuff with us since our room has a full kitchen. We are going to splurge on dinners since breakfast and lunch will be on the cheap. I have started to shop and collect all of the "stuff" we will need. I have several bags of food and such in the dining room.

One of the organizational things I am facing is that I will be gone away on a girls weekend the three days before we leave. I have to be ready before I go with the girls or else I will be in deep doo doo! HA! I am hoping to be 90% packed and just do some last minute laundry the night before we leave. Crossing fingers here.

So, those of you who know me well, know I am in full list making mode. I have lists for my lists.. truly I do. I am an obsessive list maker. I have a food list. I have individual lists for each child divided into different categories such as tops, bottoms, unmentionables, toys, pjs, etc with quantities and exact outfits I plan to pack. I have a toiletries list... also organized by person. I have a list of comfort items for each child. I have a list of electronics. I could go on and on but then you would KNOW I am more than a little OCD.

I can't wait to take a million pictures of my children laughing, playing , swimming, sunning. I can't wait to sit by the pool with my book. I am just looking forward to an uninterrupted week of family time. That is really what it is all about. Spending time with "just us". That is what makes our vacations the best.

A Lump

2008-06-20T13:27:00.003-04:00

One of my babies has a lump. The lump is located on the left side of the neck behind the ear, but lower. It is much larger than you would find at a gland. It is not an infection. It is not a cyst. It is about the size of a marble. It can be moved around, a little, but causes mild pain/discomfort.

The doctor said the good news is that it has not metastasized. It hurts me just to type that word. I thought I would throw up when the doctor said it. That is one of those words that a mother NEVER wants to hear when referred to her child.

The doctor has started running all types of blood work tests. Initial infection tests were negative. White blood cell counts were within the normal range. The doctor wants this done again. The doctor said we will run more tests. He said it could be an anomaly. He said we will continue to pick away at what this could be. He was not visibly worried.

So we wait.

I believe with all of my heart that my child will be fine. I believe this is an anomaly. Strange things happen to children. I can not even begin to imagine anything else. I won't allow my brain to go there.

Exodus 15:26

26 He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."

Proverbs 4:22

22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

Contemplation

2008-06-19T13:42:00.003-04:00

I have been deep in thought lately on a variety of subjects. There is just a lot of thinking going on here... and that is never a good thing!

One of the topics that has kept my mind whirling while awake and permeated my dreams at night has to do with a friend of mine. I met this friend back in 1985 when I first went away to college. We hit it off instantly. We became the best of friends as pledge sisters. We made each other laugh until our sides hurt. Heck, she went on my first date with my husband with me.

Over the years we touched base here and there. We would go through spurts of time when we would spend time together and then we would move apart. I have thought long and hard about this.

The times we spent apart were usually her times of challenge. She made some decisions that really have caused her life today to be what it is... and not in a good way.

She tried being a foster parent. She had an amazing little girl whom she loved very much. We spent a lot of time together during this time.... until... she started "dating" the little girl's father. This was wrong on so many levels. First, ethically, it was a huge conflict of interest. This little girl was removed from her father's care by the court. He was not to be spending time with his child during this time... yet he spent countless hours at my friends' home. He romanced her. He professed deep feelings for her. He pulled her in close and then dropped the hammer. He got his daughter back and pushed my friend away. He had never really cared about her. He used her as a means to get to his daughter. It was gut wrenching to watch. She spiraled down and I don't think she has ever fully recovered.

This started a long period of distance between us. I tried valiantly to stay close.. but she just made many excuses and explanations as to why she couldn't talk or see me. She was hurting and she wouldn't let me... or anyone else in.

A few years later I was still trying to maintain some semblence of contact. My friend's mood changed. She seemed more happy. I could tell something was going on. Somehow, deep inside, I knew she was seeing someone... a woman. My friend took 2 years before she was honest with me about who she was seeing. I think I have always thought that the hurt she experienced previously caused her to not trust a man again. It also caused her to have little to no faith in herself as a worthy companion.

My friend eventually allowed my husband and I to meet her girlfriend. At first we really liked her. We thought she was supportive and kind and caring. As we got to know her over the next few years a different view came to light. This woman came from a very abusive and neglected childhood. She was not a faithful partner to my friend. She cheated on her more than once. She lied and stole from my friend. Eventually, it got to the point where my friend became an emotional wreck. It was horrible.

One year ago this week, my friends' partner of 6 + years moved out. She moved in with her new girlfriend. She took furniture. She took money. She took the last bit of strength my friend possessed.

6 months later my friend was involuntarily committed. (You have no idea how difficult this is to write.) Her ex-girlfriend drove her to the hospital and then called me. Never in a million years did I expect to talk to this woman again, much less to have her tell me my friend was in a psychiatric ward of a hospital.

The next day I went and visited my friend. I could not believe I was there... checking in my purse... going through multiple locked doors. It was unsettling. My friend was surprised to see me... yet not surprised at all. I was instantly glad I went. I visited her regularly during her time hospitalized.

Almost 2 months after being released from the hospital I received a text message from my friend. It asked what I was doing. I said something like.. just enjoying some down time. I asked her what she was doing. She was driving herself back to the hospital. She had spent the previous 48 hours doing some major drugs. In our 23 years as friends I had never seen or heard of her doing any drugs... much less the ones she said she had done. She asked me to call her mother and tell her that her daughter was being committed again. What a difficult call to make.

This time I visited my friend only once. I had to talk to her face to face while IN the hospital. I told her something that I never thought I would ever say. I told her that she could not come around my family if drugs were in her life. I told her I loved her. I told her I missed her. I told her that I could not and would not endanger or expose my children to this. I hugged her and walked away.

I still speak to my friend a few times a week. She is home. She is struggling. In no way, shape or form do I think she is out of the woods. I think she will either end up hospitalized again, dead or homeless.

I don't know what to do from this point on.

-I had another friend about 16 years ago who committed suicide. I still struggle today with this. I don't want to lose another friend.

Part of me wants to distance myself emotionally from my friend. The other part of me needs to keep in contact.

I can't be responsible for her choices. I can't prevent her from doing things. I just can't walk away either.

I don't know if staying in contact is doing any good at all. I dream about my friend often. I worry when she doesn't answer her phone or respond to a text message. I am the ONLY friend in her life right now who has been around longer than 6 months. I am the ONLY friend in her life right now that she didn't meet while drunk in a bar.

I can't allow her to be around my family.

I just don't know what to do.

2008-06-17T14:53:00.002-04:00

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

~Judy Garland

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.

~John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959

To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered.

~Oscar Wilde

A mother who is really a mother is never free.

~Honore de Balzac

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.

~A Midsummer Night's Dream, 5. 1

First Week of Summer Break

2008-06-17T14:29:00.003-04:00

Well, the first week of summer break was just what the doctor ordered. James went to football camp with three of his friends for the week. Jerry drove the boys to and from camp. He said the conversations between them was hilarious. They just loved spending time with each other.

Riley and Madeline spent their week home with me. On Tuesday we went to the free movie at the mall. We saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. This was Madeline's first foray into a movie theater. She did great. I think it helped that she got to hold the popcorn. Girlfriend is happy when she is in control of the food!! Riley laughed out loud several times during the flick. It is just the most endearing thing... listening and watching him just so happy. On Wednesday we visited Nana and Grampy during the day. We spent time destroying their home before going to lunch at Chick-fil-A. On Friday we picked up a gift for Nana and Grampy to celebrate their anniversary. It was so nice to stop by and drop off a surprise. They love spending time with the little ones and the little ones ADORE them.

Friday night James went to a sleep over at a friends' house. (This is one of the boys who went to football camp for the week, too.) He thought he was one cool cat being out and about, away from his family all week. The rest of us joined our neighbors and friends, the Edwards, for a dinner out. It was a really laid back and fun time.

On Saturday we ran a million errands. We spent time here, there and everywhere. The day really flew by.

Sunday was, of course, Father's Day. Jerry woke up to kisses from his kids and a gift. He was very pleased. We then went to brunch. After brunch we were off to the Rays game. It was so much fun. The game fell right during nap time so Madeline hit a wall in about the 6th inning. I took her out under the stadium to rocked her on a bench until she fell asleep. This allowed Jerry the opportunity to watch the remainder of the game with the boys. The Marlins beat the Rays, but it was still a great family experience.

After the game we visited with Aunt Kathy and Uncle Tim briefly. They live close to the stadium so we thought we would stop by. We then headed to my parent's home to share some Father's Day time with Grampy. Whew!! It was a busy day!!

I don't know if we can keep this same pace up for the entire summer.... but for a first week, it was great.

I soooooo love being home with the kids!!!

Tonight

2008-06-12T20:14:00.002-04:00

Part Deux

2008-06-12T13:52:00.003-04:00

Disney's West Side at sunset.

Ready to hit the pool.

Yes, I am adorable. No, I didn't do it.

Madeline's first time miniature golfing! What a pro!!

Three Bugs in a Rug

Can you say.... this gave Mom a heart attack??
Where we met.... 22 years ago.. It was knocked down the next day. :-(

James kicking some booty on the field.

Multitasking Mama

Not a delicate flower.....

Pics -a - Palooza

2008-06-12T09:53:00.005-04:00

My Three Miracles....

Saratoga Spring - Disney Fun!

Best Friends at 5th Grade Ceremony

Look at those smiles!!! My babies are growing up!

James' Harley Fun!

Look at me!! I think I am allllll that!

Riley has the need for speed!!

James during a football game. (Obvious, huh?)

School concert sibling love!

5th Grade Friends! What fun!

All County Chorus

Riley, Madeline and Ava... cruising the hood.

Well, the long overdue time has come for me to upload pictures of our adventures. Life has been crazy, busy and full of laughs and love. This may take a few posts to accomplish, but hopefully it will be worth it.

The kids are growing and changing daily. It is such a blessing to watch them master new skills, climb to greater heights.... cause more of their mother's hair to turn gray... and their father's to disappear! They keep Jerry and I on our toes and happier than we could have ever imagined. We live in awe each and every day.

Enjoy!

Summer is Here!

2008-06-09T09:11:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it! Summer is here. Friday was my last day at work until August. I am so happy. I love being home with my children. It is when I fell the most "normal". Normal does not come easily for me, so this is a big deal.

Today James headed off to football camp at Jerry's high school for the week. He was so excited. He is being joined by three friends from the neighborhood, too. They are going to have a blast. All four boys love playing football. They all love being together, too. I think they are going to love every minute.

I am home with the two little ones this week. It is so neat whenever the group dynamics change. You just see a different side of them when you have them in different groupings. It is neat. Riley and Madeline currently have a love/hate relationship. They bounce back and forth from laughing to fighting. Generally, Madeline has taken something of Riley's or decided to hit or kick him to get a reaction from him only for him to eventually retailate by holding her down to stop her. This then brings about screams of discontent. Now, two minutes later the two will be laughing and playing and chasing and smiling. They give each other hugs and kisses. Siblings to the core, these two are. (That sentence was rather Yoda-ess, don't ya think?)

We bought a Wii this weekend. It was a combo. Jerry's birthday and James' leaving elementary school gift. Oh my GOSH!! It is so much fun. The boys played for over three hours straight yesterday. They were actually sweating! Jerry and James played golf last night and were laughing out loud. It was so fun to watch them. I like that the kids are active. No one is sitting around being lazy. Super fun!

I have a ton of pictures taken over the last week or so. I am going to work on posting some during nap times this week. The kids are growing and changing so fast!

I am loving every minute.

Women Over 40

2008-06-08T21:58:00.001-04:00

One of my AOII sisters posted this. I instantly fell in love with Andy Rooney. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?'
She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with y ou at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her!
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.
Ladies, I a pologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

Touching Base

2008-06-05T20:22:00.002-04:00

The kids last day of school was yesterday. My last day is tomorrow.

WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I am so ready to be home with my babies!!!

Remember

2008-05-26T10:45:00.002-04:00

2008-05-26T09:29:00.003-04:00

There is a wonderful post here.

Please check it out. There is also a great article written by The Tennessean here.

I have always had tremendous respect for the Chapman family. As members of the adoption community they are tireless promoters of adoption and family. They have donated countless dollars to help others adopt. They live their lives as examples for others.

Please check out Shaohannah's Hope website. If you feel led to donate you may do so at Maria's Miracle Fund.

Footsteps in the Sand

2008-05-25T22:04:00.004-04:00

With all of the recent tragedies I have been thinking. My time spent reflecting on the earthquakes in China, tornadoes in the US and the death of Maria Sue Chapman brought a story I have heard several times to mind. I am sure many, if not all, of you have heard this... but I just wanted to share.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Author unknown

Ummm.... ewwwww... gross

2008-05-25T21:46:00.002-04:00

Okay... just for the record... I HATE POTTY TRAINING! Whew, I feel better already.

For the life of me I can not understand how children can be completely potty trained for pee and struggle miserably with poop.

Yes, this is one of THOSE posts. If you aren't up for the gross, stinky truth... click away now.

My lovely daughter is truly fully potty trained for pee. She is the supreme potty pee'er in our house! She has not had wet panties in a LONG, LONG time. We are so proud of her. She struggles with the gross counter part. We do not push. We are patient. We even allow her to put on a Pull Up if the experience becomes stressful.

Last week Miss M needed to go number 2. We asked her if we could put her on the potty. The answer was a resounding NO. She told us she was going to put on a Pull Up.

Insert side comment here: (heh) Okay, yes I realize this is our third child and she is two years old... but we trusted her... we believed her that she was going to put on a Pull Up. (heavy sigh)

Madeline retired to her room and closed the door. About 5 minutes later we heard screaming... I mean... screaming like someone was in her room with her pulling her toenails out one by one screaming. Jerry and I ran to her room.

hmmm... the door was locked. I use the little pokey thing we keep up over every door on the outside in case of accidental locking in... open the door to find....

Okay... if you are squeamish... this is your last warning.

Madeline was standing right inside the door, naked from the waist down with one foot in the air..... both feet were COVERED in poop. There was poop all over the room. There was poop by her bed, under her shoes (we are thinking she put the shoes over the poop to hide it) There were little poopy footsteps all over the room and up the changing table. She had poop totally impacted between her toes. The Pull Up Madeline was going to put on was sitting on the floor clean as clean can be.

I carried her to the bathroom. Jerry held her over the toilet as I lovingly gave her feet swirlys in the toilet trying to break loose some of the offending matter stuck to her feet, up her back, all over her clothes... and.... in her HAIR! I don't know how no one threw up during all of this. Seriously, I think we could have called in a HazMat team!! It was disgusting.

Once the cleaning process on Madeline was underway Jerry headed into the disaster zone to start the clean up. It took me over 20 minutes to get Madeline clean enough to put her in the shower. When I finally did get her in I realized that I now had poop on my shirt, arm and other various places.

I am telling you... this was the grossest thing we have encountered thus far.

We think Madeline was going to put on the pull up and had an accident.... once the floodgates opened she couldn't stop it and proceeded to wander around the room pooping. The changing table mess was one of her attempts at clean up. There were many wipes scattered around the area.

I truly wanted to force her back into diapers!

Today, she pooped on the toilet. She just dropped her drawers, climbed on up and did her business like a trooper. When she was done she promptly told me... "Madeline no poop on feet."

That's my girl!!

Tragedy

2008-05-22T09:12:00.002-04:00

MARIA SUE CHAPMAN, DAUGHTER OF STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, DIES IN ACCIDENT AT FAMILY HOME

NASHVILLE, TN...5/21/08... At approximately 5pm on the afternoon of Wednesday May 21st, Maria Sue Chapman, 5 years old and the youngest daughter to Steven and Mary Beth Chapman was struck in the driveway of the Chapman home in Franklin, TN. Maria was rushed to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville, transported by LifeFlight, but died of her injuries there. Maria is one of the close knit family’s six children and one of their three adopted daughters.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Chapman family during this terrible time.

Little Zachary ~

2008-05-21T14:29:00.000-04:00

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.
His parents had tried everything... tutors,
mentors, flash cards, Special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took
Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother Hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work.

His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back
Hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference

Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her gr eat surprise,
Little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.

She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. 'Well, then,' she replied,
Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms?' WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?'

Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

Finding My Way

2008-05-14T19:09:00.003-04:00

You know, sometimes when we feel like we know exactly where we are headed we end up someplace entirely different. Lately that is how I have been feeling. Maybe I am just coming down from the tumultous April. Maybe I am just gearing up to finish out the school year. Maybe I am just ready to be home with my babies. I am not sure exactly what it is.. but life has just been rather unexpected.

April was a very difficult month. It started off with Riley having surgery. Two weeks later two of my uncles died within 24 hours of each other. A week later my father had surgery. With all of the work I missed I went into an unpaid status. This was not expected... at all. Life just happened.

Riley has been working hard in school. He is learning to read. His Math skills are plugging right along. He is starting to write meaningful sentences. Tonight it took him 3 hours to complete 10 simple Math problems. He would do everything BUT his homework. I tried to have him leave it so we could go back to it later with a fresh attitude. NOPE. He was not having that. I tried to take things away from him to "motivate" him to work. NOPE. He even went so far as to ERASE the answers he had. I have no clue what was going on. I was in no mood for these games. This was not expected. It was also a big pain in the booty!

Madeline has decided to no longer let us know when she goes number 2 in her pull up. She has decided to take off the offensive pull up and HIDE it! We have to find it by the scent. This was not expected.

Oh yeah... I think I am entering menopause early. That may sound like a good thing but MAN the symptoms I have stink! (I won't bore you with the yucky details.) So... off to another girly doctor visit this year. This was not expected.

I have been filling my calendar with Summer appointments. I have been trying to come up with activities to keep us all busy and therefore not ready to throttle each other. We have zoo tickets, museum tickets, football camp and swimming. Things are actually coming together with ease. This was not expected.

I know life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Usually that is what I embrace. Lately.. I am hoping for a more tortoise approach to life... slow and steady. Maybe I am getting old. Maybe I am tired. Maybe I just want to enjoy where life is right now... I think that is it. Life is quick. I really want to just take a stroll, smell the roses and enjoy the minute. That is going to be my goal for the Summer. Enjoy every minute whether it is expected or unexpected.

Earthquakes in China

2008-05-13T19:05:00.003-04:00

If you are a prayerful person, please consider praying for all of those effected by the terrible earthquake in China. The devastation is immense.

If you would like to make a donation to the earthquake relief, please consider using Half the Sky or Love Without Boundaries. Make sure you note that your donation is for the earthquake relief effort. Both of these organizations do tremendous work in China on a daily basis.

http://give.halfthesky.org/prostores/servlet/Categories?category=Direct+Contributions

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/earthquake.cfm

Riley and Madeline are not from the areas effected by the earthquake, but there are many, many orphanages... some of which still have the children outside due to aftershocks.

Please feel free to visit the Rumor Queen's blog at:

http://chinaadopttalk.com/

She is doing an amazing job with updates from agencies as well as people in China. (You may need to scroll down to get to the updates.)

4 Years

2008-05-11T12:25:00.004-04:00

Four years ago yesterday Riley was placed in our arms. Where has the time gone??

4 years ago Riley was a frightened little boy. Today he is happy, rambunctious and full of love.

4 years ago Riley was still taking 5 bottles a day and had limited exposure to "real" food. Today he will eat just about anything from spicy salsa to pickles to calamari.

4 years ago Riley was silent. Today he talks our ears off!! He is loud, expressive and quite opinionated.

4 years ago Riley saw us as strangers. Today he came running in my room, threw his arms around me yelling, "Happy Mother's Day!"

Adopting Riley is one of the best things we have ever done. We didn't adopt him to save a child or to make a difference in the world. We adopted Riley because we wanted to add another child to our family to love. Biology was NOT our friend. We were selfish.. so we adopted. Now we know that Riley was always destined by God to be our baby. Many people will not agree with that statement, but we know it to be true.

Through our greatest struggles in life came our greatest blessings. I believe that somehow, some way... the same came true for Riley's birth mother.

Her greatest tragedy is our blessing. It is strange but true.

I think about Riley's birthmother often. I stand before the night sky and talk to her. I thank her for the gift of her son. I firmly believe that she loved him. The way he was left.. the place, the circumstances... tell me that this was an act of love to save her son. I wish her pain did not have to happen. I am grateful for the choice she made... to save her son's life. To bring him to the hospital...

She left a note. She loved him. In a strange way I understand the void left in her heart.. having lost several babies myself.. (yes, in a different way.. but still not easy or forgettable.) If I could have her hear one of the messages I speak to the sky it would be that Bao is happy, healthy, smart and strong. He has a good heart. He is open to love and to be loved. He will always know the love of China and that he WAS left to be found in a safe and loving place.

Riley, Bao Bao... we love you.

Happy 4th Riley Day!!!

19

2008-05-08T08:41:00.001-04:00

Only 19 days of school left. That means I only have 21 days of work left until I get to stay home with my babies!! I can't wait!!! I love being home during the Summer with my kids. It is what gets me through the school year.

Come on Summer Break! I am ready for you!!

James

2008-05-07T11:10:00.004-04:00

James is finishing up his last few weeks in elementary school. I am in awe. Where did the time go? How have we gone from battling infertility, being told we would never have a biological child to this???? Wow!!

James had his last Chorus concert last night. He is training the 4th graders to take over the school news show. He is finishing up his run as a Safety Patrol. We had a 5th grade trip to the middle school yesterday where they were given guided tours of the school by 8th graders. It was surreal seeing my first baby walk through the halls of a school he will soon attend without me there.

I have been very lucky to have had James with me for the past 6 years. Being an elementary school teacher has given me the opportunity to have my kids with me daily once they hit school age. James and I have not been separated for 6 YEARS!! Now, it is time to watch him move on.

When we were over at my parent's home on Sunday, Jerry and I decided to measure James. My parents had been commenting on how he looked taller every time they see him. Well, my baby is 5'4 1/2" at 11 years old!! He is wearing size 16 pants!! This clothing issue is blowing my mind. The next move is into... gulp, the Men's Department!! (I think I need to start breathing into a paper bag!!!) How can that be?? James is one of the tallest kids in school. Actually, I can only think of one other child who may be taller.. and he is a year older than James. What happened to those cute little baby boy outfits with trucks and sports equipment on the shirt?? I am no longer allowed to shop for James without him present since I seem to pick out all of the wrong things. (Ummm... when did my laid back guy get picky??) I truly am unsure how we got to this point!

James will be taking 3 periods of Gifted courses next year as well as Advanced Math. Jerry and I have decided that he did NOT inherit his intellect from either one of us. He has signed up for beginning band. I am dreading the practice time with a new instrument at home. I am thinking this is a good activity to do outside? - at the grandparents? - ummm... someplace, any place but at home???? We aren't sure which instrument he will be playing but I am hoping for something quiet... like.. umm... the triangle???? (Does anyone know how much it costs to sound proof an 11 year olds bedroom?? heh)

I love my big boy so much. He is kind, loving... still a Mama's boy. He is conscientioius, caring and true to his word. I know we have given him the skills he needs to move forward. I know he is ready. I know he will find success and happiness.

I just don't know if I will ever get over my baby growing up. My first miracle is doing just what I always wanted him to do.. and worried about him doing.. he is growing up.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2008-05-05T19:57:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!!

Happy Birthday dear Dad!!

Happy Birthday to you!!

Today is my father's 66th birthday! He golfed. He ate cake. He was sang to many, many times. He is healthy and happy. It is a great day!!

Big Success

2008-05-02T11:37:00.002-04:00

I was in charge of planning our school-wide spaghetti dinner. I have spent many, many hours over the past two months getting this thing organized. I did everything for this event. We even presold tickets. So, going in to the dinner last night we had sold 174 meals. My principal said she thought we may end up with about 250 total. In our initial conversations she had said to plan for 300. I planned for 450. (I had this big fear of running out of food.)

Sooo... from about 10 minutes before we were due to start serving the line started. It was unbelieveable!! The line was so long. I couldn't believe it. We, literally served food non-stop up until the time of the scheduled ending of the dinner. It ws crazy! I could not wait to find out how many meals we served and how much money we raised. I was inside the kitchen all night so I had no way of knowing how sales were going. I just had to try to guess based on the line.

Our grand total was: 385 meals!! We raised over $1600!!! I can't believe it!!! Never in a million years did I think that would happen. A nice extra, also, was that I planned for over 400 people so all of the volunteers got to eat for free at the end of the night! We ended up serving 35 volunteers, too.

The sales and money were exciting, but I have to tell you the most thrilling part of the entire event. Everytime I asked someone to help with something last night... even the yucky tasks like washing dishes and sweeping... everyone, I mean EVERYONE stepped up happily and willingly to help. I couldn't believe it. No one ran for cover when they saw me approach. No one complained. Everyone was positive and perky... ready and willing. It was fantastic!!

I have never planned something like this before. Honestly, it is a ton of work. I am so relieved and happy. It was a huge success... and to think that I did this is amazing. As silly as it sounds, I am proud of myself.

P.S.
I never want to eat spaghetti again in my life!! hahaha.... That stuff causes insurmountable stress!!!

YAHOOooooooo!!!

2008-05-01T15:28:00.001-04:00

NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! NO WORK TOMORROW!!!

Do you think the kids will sleep in?

No? Me neither... but at least we won't have to get up and go!

Woohooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Doing Great

2008-04-30T12:03:00.001-04:00

Well, my father's surgery went well. I am sooo relieved. The doctor was able to do and see everything he needed to. Everything looks great. I was going nuts all morning. When my mother called I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. Whew!

Miss M. Update

2008-04-29T19:07:00.003-04:00

Well, the amazing Madeline is just growing leaps and bounds. She is solidly wearing 2T clothes and a few 3T dresses. It is crazy!

She is sleeping in her toddler bed like a champ. She did not get up during the night at all last weekend. She has actually been going down easily and waking up just a little earlier than usual. I am so glad we made that change. I was just so scared about her climbing out of the crib and falling. She is a very nimble climber!!

Madeline is also doing very well with potty training. For the most part she stays dry all day. We do have the I am too busy playing accident every once in a while. She does wear a pull up for nap and bed. She doesn't seem to mind it at all. She will NOT allow us to put a diaper on her though. She tells us she is a big girl!!

Madeline has a HUGE vocabulary! It regularly catches us off guard. There really isn't much she can't or won't say. She still has very normal sentence structure issues, but that is really it. She talks in longer sentences. A 5-6 word sentence is very common for her. She uses words appropriately the majority of the time. It has been so cool watching her try out new words and phrases. She is one smart cookie.

She has now cut all of her molars! Whew!! I am hoping the never ending runny nose will now disappear. She handled these teeth MUCH better than when she was cutting teeth nonstop a year ago. Really the only sign we had that she was cutting teeth was the nose. She is a trooper.

Madeline is just a blessing. 'Nuff said.

Another Update

2008-04-28T19:58:00.003-04:00

Well, on Wednesday my father is going in for surgery. He is having two kidney stones surgically removed from one kidney and the other kidney scoped. The kidney without the stones looks mishapen. The doctor is unsure what is going on. My dad will have two stints in until Monday. Hopefully we will have some answers from all of this.

Also, my sister, Maureen, who lives in Australia has had a death in her husband's family. As selfish as this may sound.. it was almost a relief. SO MANY PEOPLE say deaths come in threes. SO... I am counting this one as number three. I wish we were closer to be a support to her and Nick during this difficult time.

Finally, Jerry emailed me today asking for our doctor's phone number. He said his left arm was hurting him from his elbow to his chest. SAY WHAT?!?!?! Talk about receiving an email I didn't want! So, he ended up going to Urgent Care. They did an EKG and didn't find anything. They aren't sure what is causing the discomfort. They put him on an anti-inflammatory script. He will consult with our doctor when she returns from vacation.

So.. our house has yet to calm down, though I am sure quiet days are just ahead.

Weekend Fun

2008-04-28T11:53:00.002-04:00

Well, we interrupted our normal round of stress and strife for a little weekend fun.

First, James had his All County Chorus performance on Saturday at the Wesley Chapel Fine Arts Center. It was wonderful! We ordered the CD and such so he will always have a copy. I am proud of him for putting in months of rehearsals and giving up two complete Saturdays for final preparation. It was a great show.

Next, I went to a Thirty-One party at my friend's house. I love the products that they sell. It has been nice picking up a few things here and there. I bought a new bag for our pool stuff. It is great! It is blue, lined and will have our family name on it. It is bigger than the bag I currently carry to the pool. I can't wait to get my hands on it!

Finally, on Sunday we had a family cookout. It was such a great time. My aunt and cousins and their families came. My parents were there, too! We always have a great time when we are all together. It was nice to be together for no reason at all. I think it was good for all of us. We had burgers and dogs. Everyone brought salads and beans and chips and soda and dessert, etc... no one went home hungry. We are going to try to do a better job getting together more frequently.

We have a crazy week ahead of us... I am hoping that a week from now we will have an empty calendar.

Crossing fingers!!

Updates to Come

2008-04-26T08:31:00.002-04:00

I am going to try to post a few updates this weekend. Life has been non stop the past few weeks.

First, my father is having surgery on Wednesday. He did Pre-Op testing/bloodwork yesterday. He ended up going to AZ for the second funeral, but having to come home immediately due to pain and discomfort.

I am glad he was able to go. It was just a little frightening getting the call that he was really not doing well and to please meet my parents at the airport.

The last few weeks have brought a few realizations to me.
1. Life is precious and fragile. (I already knew this but it has certainly been a reaffirmation.)
2. Life is changing. It is now my turn to start taking care of my parents. They have slowly become more dependent on me... and that is fine with me.
3. It is important to keep in touch with family members and not let tragedy be what brings you back together.

I am sure there are many more things I have realized lately... those are just a few.

2008-04-21T19:34:00.001-04:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
6
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Rough Week

2008-04-17T10:59:00.002-04:00

My uncle died Friday. On Saturday another uncle of mine died. My aunt lost her brother and husband within 24 hours of each other. On Monday my father was taken to the hospital. On Tuesday he checked himself out to go to his brother's funeral. On Wednesday... back to the hospital. This morning he checked himself out to FLY to Arizona to the next funeral. Oh yeah.. yesterday, Riley's PE teacher decided he should participate in class... against the Dr. note AND my note and he hurt his stitches.

I am stressed!!

Ups and Downs

2008-04-10T13:35:00.006-04:00

Life in our casa has been crazy. Riley is on the mend, feeling strong and more energetic every day. It is so good to see him emerge from this in such a happy way. Madeline made the move to the big girl bed and has had dry panties for days. (Except that lovely little accident yesterday which was not pee. Umm.. gross. James has a sore neck from football. He has been incredibly helpful this past week.

Last week my uncle... my dad's brother, was not feeling well. He just couldn't shake feeling sick. My aunt took him to the doctor. He was immediately transferred to the hospital. (A little background... my aunt and uncle live near us. I actually lived with them for a year in college. They have been a constant support system for me over the years. I love them.) Well, my uncle's platelet count was way off. He also was diagnosed with MRSA. This is one nasty virus. Over the next few days he just wasn't rebounding. The super antibiotics weren't working. Three days ago my uncle lost consciousness. That same day the doctors said he also has Leukemia. They weren't able to diagnose which form of leukemia immediately since they were dealing with the virus, too. Two days ago my uncle was put on a respirator. Yesterday his body temperature sky rocketed to 103. Even while packed in ice it only went down to 102.7. Today he had a massive brain bleed. The doctors told us that the form of leukemia he has is generally fatal within 4 months of onset. They believe he has had it for a few months already. He was put on life support.

My cousins who are out of town are making arrangements to get here. After they are all here my uncle will be removed from life support after they say their goodbyes. My father will lose a sibling for the first time. He is trying to be brave, tough, Mr. Strong... but I know this is just so hard on him.

I have explained to the boys what is happening. James will be a great support for his cousin who is losing her grandfather since he has lost a grandparent, too. He understands.

The services will be next week. I need to do everything possible to help my family through this difficult time. I know we are all keenly aware that my uncle will be without pain and in the arms of God... but we still mourn.

Life has unbelievable ups and downs, twists and turns.

Teacher Post... & Parent Post

2008-04-09T16:51:00.002-04:00

Remediation –noun - the correction of something bad or defective
noun -act of correcting an error or a fault or an evil

Okay, I am a teacher and a parent. Well, actually, I am a parent who just happens to be a teacher as my job. I have a child who is making gains at school. This child has shown more than a year's worth of growth. This child is not performing on grade level across the board. Here is my problem.

I disagree completely with the way this child is being taught. The child is pulled out of class up to 15 times a week for small group activities. This is being called remediation. Look at the definition above. That is what the educational system is calling providing help to students. I have thought a lot about this topic. I do not, for the life of me, understand how a child can be expected to meet "grade level expectations" when they are not being taught on grade level material. This is causing me a great amount of discourse.

I do not see how it is EVER beneficial to pull a child out of class an average of three times a day not counting lunch and specials. That is actually 5 times a day the child is out of the classroom. A child being pulled out like that is getting pulled an average of about once an hour away from the teacher. How can this be a best practice??? Let's not even factor in trips to the library, running errands for the teacher, etc.

As a teacher with almost 20 years of experience under my belt I am furious with the current state of the educational system.

We have the NCLB legislation. I understand the intent completely. I also know that schools and districts must assess student growth... so standardized tests are used.

Now, this is where the water gets even more muddy. We are "remediating" students. The goal is to get them to "catch up". We test them on grade level specific material. We remediate them with below grade level material. HOW ARE THESE CHILDREN SUPPOSED TO TAKE A TEST THEY HAVE NOT BEEN ADEQUATELY PREPARED FOR????? Many of these students have received little to no on grade level instruction yet they are expected to perform successfully on on grade level material. How can this be??

Okay.... I do think we can provide appropriate leveled reading groups while exposing students to grade level material.

This is not a new frustration for me. It has just taken a very different perspective for me lately.

MY CHILD IS THE ONE WHO WAS BEING PULLED 15 TIMES A WEEK!! No one told me this was happening. I was not informed that 6 different adults were teaching my child this year. That number is not counting special area teachers.

How can a child learn how to work independently if constantly pulled into a small group out of the classroom?
How can a child pass an on grade level test when not being taught on grade level material?
How can the educational system believe that remediation is the key.. not instruction?
How can a school pull a child out of class 15 times a week and never notify the parent?

I am ticked.

Pics-O-Rama

2008-04-08T13:55:00.003-04:00

Big Girl Bed

2008-04-08T09:53:00.003-04:00

Let's Change Things UP!!

Well, my baby girl is growing up. I know this is a good thing, but it is also extremely difficult for me. She is my baby! (Actually, I have a hard time with all three of them growing up!) I have been thinking alot lately about moving Madeline out of the crib. She will be 2 and a half next month. She hasn't complained about the crib. She doesn't protest going down to bed. BUT.. she is a climber. We have found her on top of the changing table, on top of the bathroom counter, on the kitchen table, on the air hockey table, on the kitchen counter... the list goes on and on. My girl can CLIMB like the best of them. The idea of her deciding to climb out of her crib terrifies me. So, that outweighed any dreams I had of keeping this remnant of babyhood, the crib.

Two days ago I showed her all of the pieces of the toddler bed. I explained to Madeline that this was going to be her big girl bed. She smiled and nodded and said yes, Mama.. but I had no clue if she understood. Yesterday we pulled out all of the pieces and began assembling her bed. She watched and helped and handed daddy screws like a champ. She was VERY into building the big girl bed. Her brothers hovered around helping and throwing dolls at each other. (Yup, they are all boy!)

After the bed was assembled Madeline put her blankies and babies onto the new bed. She covered her babies up and kissed them goodnight. It was so cute. We ate dinner and talked about the big girl bed. We took pictures of the big girl bed. It was a celebratory mood.

Right before bedtime we broke out the new Princess sheets. Talk about being over the moon. Madeline was in heaven. She couldn't believe how lucky she was. She laughed and pointed and showed her brothers her bed. It was adorable.

Next came bedtime. We bathed Madeline and put her in her pajamas. We followed the exact night time routine we always have. We rocked and sang songs. Daddy flew her through the air to bed.

Right as she hit the pillow she said..................... no.

I swooped in and started bouncing her on her big girl bed, getting her to laugh. We then made a quick exit and waited. We stood by Madeline's door for a few minutes listening to.... silence.

Madeline slept through the night in her big girl bed. Heck, she slept in until 9am which is a first. This morning we heard her door open and out she walked proud as can be, carrying her blankie. She was so happy. She brought me in to see her bed. She sat on it and said "Madeline nap bed." We cheered. We danced. Woohooo!!

So.. now we will see how nap time goes today. The crib is still assembled and ready if needed. I have a feeling that this little lady who has always been very independent is going to do just fine. She is a strong person with great pride.

I love you Miss M and am so proud of you sleeping in your big girl bed!

Downhill Slide

2008-04-07T21:43:00.003-04:00

Today started out great. Riley was feeling happy and fiesty. Around mid morning things changed. He started complaining of pain. He has not really complained a lot so this was new. He had some bandage issues which didn't help at all.

Well, around mid day I just knew I had to do something to help him. I gave him some of his Codeine. (He had not taken any in two days.) I fed him lunch and then took action. Once I knew the meds had kicked in I removed the bandage that was causing him so much discomfort. He cried and cried. It just broke my heart. James stood by his head, saying soothing words to him, rubbing his hair and just being a great big brother.

After I cleaned the area I was able to get a good look at one of the two surgery sites. OH MY GOSH! It looked horrible. Now, I did not lead on to Riley that I was shocked by how it looked. I showed him the area and explained to him that the area was bruised and swollen. I told him that everyday it would look a little better. He was still crying, but understood. After that I was able to put antibiotic cream on the site. He was terrified as I approached the area. I don't know how I did it and didn't cry in front of him. It was just heart wrenching. After I finished he said he couldn't walk. I know this was from everything being so traumatic.

Well... let me tell you about divine intervention. After about 10 minutes of playing quietly with James the doorbell rang. A box arrived in the mail from my great friend Jenni in TN. It was JUST what Riley needed. He was so happy and excited. He opened the gift to find an amazing array of quiet time activities. Riley asked James to join him and the two spent about an hour coloring and reading books together from the care package. When they finished Riley packed everything up back into the gift bag and carried it with him where ever he went for the rest of the day. It is actually sitting next to his bed right now. He has already asked James to color with him again tomorrow. THANK YOU JENNI!!!!!

Tomorrow we will need to remove the remaining bandages. It is not going to be easy. Riley knows we are going to do it. He understands that it needs to be done. He, also, knows it is going to hurt. I wish I could cast a magic spell to take the pain away. I wish these bandages would just miraculously fall off during the night. It just hurts my heart to the core to know my baby is hurting.

My baby is hurting and I can't do anything about it. This has to be the worst part about being a parent.

Busy Boy

2008-04-07T10:06:00.002-04:00

Riley is a very busy boy. This has been true since the day we first held him. He loves to be active... run, climb, jump, you name it. He is one tiny little dynamo. He is a solid muscle from head to toe with close to no body fat. He is one lean, mean, playing machine.

All of that is great.... when he is HEALTHY. These are currently the curses of childhood after surgery.

Riley does not understand that he can't jump from the couch onto the floor and land and roll across the room with two sets of stitches in him.

Oh yes, my boy is feeling better... but not slowing down. He is still limping along when he walks. He feels the pain and discomfort... but he is a kid! He wants to run and play and jump and wrestle.

The two new Leapster games have been a blessing. The new DVD's have been a God-send. The new 100 piece puzzles have been a great time killer!

So, today I will head out to try to purchase a few more new activities to keep Mr. Ri busy and calm.

Riley is one busy boy and I wouldn't want him any other way. I just want him to heal and not hurt.

Day 3 Synonym

2008-04-05T10:47:00.005-04:00

GROUCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Umm... that would be the understatement of the century. We have one very unhappy little man with us today. I don't blame him one bit. He has even taken to being a mimic in a quite obnoxious way when he doesn't like what he is hearing. It takes a lot of patience to redirect his behavior without getting mad. He is just not happy. Riley is walking like he just spent a month riding a horse. Poor baby!

Also, having a two year old sister who does not understand why she is not the center of the universe right now doesn't help. She has the extreme need to put herself into the middle of anything that is happening. Not fun.

We are doing well, really, overall. This is just one of the things we must go through during this process.

What a Day!

2008-04-03T11:53:00.002-04:00

Well, we arrived at ACH at 12:45 pm. We did all of the Pre-Op stuff and were sent to the playroom. Riley enjoyed all of the video games. It really helped to pass the time. At about 1:45 they told us the doctor was running behind. We figured, no problem. Oddly enough at 2:05 they came to bring us back to the holding room where the kids go to directly before the OR. Well, they brought us back there WAY too soon. Riley ended up spending an hour there. Thank goodness we were able to stay with him. He had his blankie and a television so was distracted. We did have to take him to the bathroom during that time, too. That was interesting, to say the least. We had to walk him down two different hallways to get to the closest bathroom to the OR.

So, at 3:10 pm they wheeled Riley back to the OR. He gave us kisses and was calm as calm can be. He was just fine.

We were then directed back to a conference area to wait. We were told we could go get a quick bite to eat since Riley would be in surgery for about 45 minutes. They gave us a pager and off we went.

On our way down to the cafeteria Jerry said he didn't feel comfortable staying and eating. So, we found some vending machines, bought a few drinks and snacks and returned to the conference area. We were not back 2 MINUTES when the doctor came in the room. He said everything was fine but he found something during the surgery. He had scrubbed OUT to come and talk to us. Talk about stress levels going through the roof. Well, another issue was found during surgery that could not be seen or identified before. We had to consult with the doctor about whether to add a third procedure to Riley's surgery or wait to do the third one at a later date. The doctor felt strongly that we should wait. So, after consulting with him for 10 to 15 minutes the decision was made to wait for the third procedure which was not expected or planned.

The doctor ran a few other tests while in there to help gather more information for our future decision making.

So.. instead of a 45 minute surgery... Riley's surgery was almost 2 hours long. Whew! We couldn't believe it.

Riley got to Post-Op and did great. By the time he got to us he was still stoned, but good. He had been given a baby epidural during the surgery so he couldn't walk for about 8 hours.

We left the hospital after 7 pm and got home after 8 pm. My parents brought James and Madeline home and dinner. They also picked up Riley's codeine from the pharmacist. They were so wonderful.

Riley woke up twice during the night. As long as we keep the pain meds under control he is in a fairly good mood. He has just been fantastic.

So.. two weeks from now we will meet with the surgeon again to discuss Riley's next operation. We are thinking this one can wait until Summer break.

I am so glad Riley did so well. He is just such an amazing person. He is smart, strong and the ultimate fighter.

I love him so much!

Getting Ready to GO

2008-04-02T11:14:00.002-04:00

Well, we are just about ready to head out the door.

Keep Riley in your prayers and....

Wish us luck!

Dear Jenni,

2008-04-01T18:49:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday, dear Jenni!
Happy Birthday to YOU!

You are a great friend whether we live a few miles or a plane ride apart. I hope this birthday is filled with love, laughs and libations? Well, maybe just the love and laughs... and some really GOOD gifts from Bub!!

I love you!

Tomorrow

2008-04-01T18:43:00.002-04:00

Well, tomorrow is the day for Riley's surgery. I am so ready to get this over with. He is super hyper. I know that is just his way of dealing with his nervousness.

Here is the kicker. Riley doesn't have to be at the hospital until 1pm! Yup! That means he will not be able to eat from midnight until after his 2:30 pm surgery tomorrow. Now, I don't mean to sound nasty, but geesh!!!! How do I keep him happy ALL FREAKING DAY without food???? I mean really!!! I am hoping beyond all hopes he sleeps in tomorrow. If we can get him to sleep in until 9-10 am, like he loves to do on the weekends, then we at least have a battle worth fighting. We can distract... but only for so long.

For his 2 weeks of being out of commission we have bought puzzles, arts and crafts supplies and a few new DVD's. Any other suggestions from Mom's out there? We have to keep an VERY active 6 year old BOY inactive for 2 weeks!!! Once he starts feeling better it is going to be a challenge... but we have no choice until the stitches are gone.

Okay... thanks for listening to my nervous Mama rant.

Cough and Sniffle

2008-03-30T15:19:00.003-04:00

-not a good thing AT all with surgery just a few days away.

We are pushing OJ, sleep, fresh air, clean sheets, Lysol.

We can't give him anything at all.... so crossing our fingers this passes quickly so everything can go as planned this week.

I am instantly glad the doctor put me on a mild blood pressure pill because this is stressing me out.

Riley still isn't sleeping great at night. He climbed into bed with me around 5am, snuggled close and dozed until almost 10am. I was so glad he slept some more.

This would have been much easier before he was smart enough to know the date. Even without us ever reminding him, he knows.

We are thinking of keeping him out of school tomorrow and Tuesday to avoid any more germ exposure. Nana and Grampy would take him tomorrow and Jerry will be home on Tuesday.

Thinking healthy thoughts here!!

Feeling Girly

2008-03-29T17:33:00.003-04:00

I am feeling girly today! I had a great morning of Mommy/Daughter fun with Madeline. We primped, dressed alike.. kind of, did our hair and just enjoyed spending several hours together. Jerry had taken the boys to James' football Jamboree. So, girl day it was! It was really neat.

After nap time our new family room furniture arrived!!! WOOHOOO!! I love it!! It is a really cool sectional from Haverty's. The color is called cappuccino. It is so much bigger than the couch and chair we used to have. We will all be able to sit together now. Nice!!!

After the furniture came I was off, minus my sweet baby girl, for a pedicure with my friend Cathy. It was nice to sit and have some "girl" talk time... minus husbands and kids. Sometimes time spent with just one friend alone can be nice. My toenails are red. I am REALLY trying hard to be more feminine. Let me tell you.. this girl stuff is WORK! I got so out of practice the last several years while chasing around kids and working to bring them home. Now, is just a little time for me.

I don't know if I mentioned before that I went through a modified targeted selection process with the school district recently and was placed in the Technology Specialist pool. Fancy shmancy, huh? It is kind of nice to stretch my brain a little after doing the same thing for 18 years. I am going to be taking a class to prepare for the Media Specialist certification test starting next month, too. I am just thinking that if I decide to leave the classroom but continue to work for the school district, I need to have options.

So... counting down to surgery on Wednesday and praying that Riley will do well.

Middle School!!!

2008-03-28T13:09:00.002-04:00

Today James had his first middle school shindig. I needed to breath into a paper bag the entire time. (Just kidding... but, boy was it stressful.) He got a form for class selection. Wow! He will be taking 6 classes. Three of the six will be Gifted. Gifted will be Language Arts, Science and Geography. He will also test for advanced Math. It is crazy! He will also be deciding what he wants to take for an elective next year. Who knows what he will select. I am going to let him choose since he will have such a big course load with everything else.

James was also nominated for a scholarship through the local counselors association. We will know in a month or two if he was selected. Heck! Even if he isn't selected, what an honor it is to be nominated! I am one proud Mama. It is amazing how this being who started out so small and fragile can grow to be so smart, strong and independent.

Last night James had his first football game for the Winter league. He sacked the quarterback. He was so excited. I think he had a difficult time falling asleep. The first words out of his mouth this morning were about football, too. It is so cute to see him get this excited.

This kid is just growing up too fast!

Lottery Anyone?

2008-03-27T16:39:00.002-04:00

I have read all of the stories about lottery winners falling from grace. I even watched bits and pieces of the True Hollywood Story... but I really wish I could win the lottery. I would be a fantastic stay-at-home mom. Heck, I would be a great homeschool mom. The only drawback of the homeschooling would be that I may not always be as patient as I would like to be when my lovely kiddos are pushing my buttons.

I think the time I am with my kids is glorious. I LOVE every minute. I enjoy listening to them talk to each other... and sometimes to themselves. I find joy in watching them read and write. I think they are just hilarious. All of my time spent at work is somehow shadowed by the fact that I can't wait to get home.

I think my truest calling in life is to be a mother... well, and wife. It is where I find my greatest peace and biggest rewards. My happiest moments are spent surrounded by my children, singing songs, discussing issues, addressing the life altering events of their days. It is so special having three children at such different points in their lives.

With James we are talking puberty, middle school, friends, sports. He has such diverse interests. He constantly has no less than two books he is reading at any given time. Being 11 is just so interesting.

Riley is 6 and in full kindergarten mode. He LOVES books. He is so active. He rides his bike, climbs and swings.. runs and rolls in the grass. He does, though, have a very tough outer shell to crack. He does not trust easily. You must earn this. It takes time but is so worth it. He is super quirky. He has an insight that can be startling at times. He remembers and cares.

Madeline is all fire. She is animated and dramatic. She will sing from sun up to sun down. She likes to be girly and tough all at once. Madeline has strong opinions. It is strange, at times, to see this in someone so young. When you meet Madeline, you just know she is going to be a strong woman one day.

I love how unique each of my children are. None resemble the other... yet there is this underlying love they each show for others. It is so nice. There is something about them that just resonates that they will be good people in life. They care.. they care big time.

I love being a mom.

Getting Nervous

2008-03-24T19:49:00.002-04:00

A week from Wednesday Riley will be going in to All Children's Hospital for his surgery. He is starting to ask a lot of questions. I think this is a good thing, but I am concerned that he is starting to stress over this. I know I am getting nervous, very nervous. He is just such a good boy who has faced countless struggles in his short life. I hate the idea of him facing challenges more than the "normal" kid. I, personally, think he has already fought so hard that it doesn't seem fair.

I know he will be in great hands with his surgeon. I know he will do great in the surgery. I know this is necessary. I just hate the thought of my baby hurting. I wish I could just run away with him and protect him from every hurt. I know that isn't possible... I just wish.

So, if you are a prayerful person, please keep Riley in your prayers. If you are not one to pray, then just send him good thoughts. It is so appreciated by one very nervous mother.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T18:35:00.002-04:00

I hope this day is full of joy and remembrance. We have had a wonderful family day.

The kids loved looking for eggs. They have spent countless hours going through baskets and trinkets galore. We have just really enjoyed family time.

Last night I made my mother's famous Easter omelette. We invited my parents over to enjoy it too. We had such a nice dinner. We talked and laughed and enjoyed family time. Our neighborhood hunt had to be cancelled due to rain. It was really for the best for us. We had more time to spend just being together. The kids colored eggs. James oversaw the entire spectacle. Riley used the cool wax crayon to write on the eggs. Madeline sat in awe trying to figure out how the eggs changed colors. It was so cute.

After dinner and egg coloring we sat as a family and enjoyed the movie Hairspray. I loved it! It really is my kind of flick. Madeline danced the night away. She really is more of a mash pit dancer than a graceful ballerina. She throws herself around with such verocity! What a fun night!

This morning we enjoyed time, just the five of us. It was nice. After all of the hunting and candy eating we watched the Bee Movie. Actually, I didn't watch it. I took advantage of the quiet and fell back to sleep for a hour. We ate a very light and early lunch and then watched Enchanted. Again, I loved it! It was so fun. We had to laugh when we realized James Marsden was in both Hairspray and Enchanted. He was great in both. We had such a nice time just snuggling together on the couch.

This afternoon we went to a huge Easter meal with my parents at their clubhouse. YIKES!! It was quite an extravaganza! Food and fun galore! After eating more than we should we headed back to Nana and Grampy's for a little basketball action. My parents are addicted to college basketball.

Now, we are home digesting the day. It really was just a nice day. No worries. No stress. No drama. Just family.... nothing better

Little Update

2008-03-20T18:41:00.004-04:00

State testing is done.

I still have not shopped for Easter.

My kids are a lot of fun. I love watching them play and laugh together.

I stunk it up big time at Bunco last night, but still had fun.

I am ready for Summer break.

Jury Duty Scam

2008-03-17T11:03:00.001-04:00

This has been verified by the FBI (their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this call. Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously y, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of fraud has surfaced.

The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo; your identity was just stolen.

The fraud has been reported so far in 11 states, including Oklahoma , Illinois , and Colorado . This (swindle) is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully people into giving information by pretending they are with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning con consumers about the fraud.

Check it out here: http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm

And here: http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp

Weekend Fun

2008-03-16T20:36:00.006-04:00

Thinking about James

2008-03-16T10:31:00.003-04:00

I am a blogaholic. I love reading blogs. I was reading a blog I have followed for a while. The aautho is struggling with the realization that adding a child to their family was at a roadblock, a standstill. This family can not have biological children. They have one daughter adopted from China.. and the China road to adoption right now is not available to them. They had considered fostering to adopt, but that is now not going to happen either. This all got me thinking.

James is our biological child. We tried for 6 years to get pregnant on our own to no avail. We were both relatively healthy, young and neither side of our family had ever experienced fertility issues. People would tell us to relax and it would happen. They would say we were crazy to think of pursuing advice from a fertility specialist. They really didn't understand.

So, we began the round of medical visits. When we finally got to the fertility specialist tests were run. I will never forget the Dr. sitting us down and saying we had a 1 in 100 million chance of conceiving naturally. I was in shock. I was confused. I was also.. a little relieved. Strange, huh? It was somewhat comforting to know that something was actually wrong and it just wasn't that we weren't relaxing!! We spent a few days just talking... trying to figure out our next step. Against medical advice we decided to start with Intrauterine Insemination instead of IVF. I had a procedure done to check my tubes right before we started.. so all was clear on my end. Our first attempt with IUI worked. We got pregnant...against all odds. I ended up spending over 30 days in my first trimester on bedrest. It was tough. It was frustrating. I felt healthy, but my body just didn't like being pregnant.

The rest of the pregnancy was rather uneventful. I delivered a healthy 8 lb. 7oz son almost 3 weeks early.

So, a few years later we decided to try again. We did 4 IUI's - unsuccessful. We changed insurance carriers so we could try again. We then did 2 IUS's with heavy drugs. Lots of shots... not fun at all. I got pregnant in January of 2002. I had a tubal rupture in February of 2002.

Riley was born in January of 2002.

Life had a different plan for us. God needed to show us that pregnancy was not where are children were to come from. We had to have a BIG sign to show us that this was not our way.

So... biology worked for us... once. James is everything and more than we could have dreamed of. He is also, probably, the best big brother around. He has accepted his siblings with an open and loving heart.

This family I read about, struggling to add to their family, in some ways, reminds me of my family. Our struggles may be different but the desire to have children.. more children is the same. The frustration that this one act... an act done out of love... could be so difficult can be overwhelming.

I hope they find the peace we have found. I hope they find the open door waiting for them after this last one closed. We couldn't see the end of the tunnel, but found our way along the path to our family. The one that we were always meant to have.

Happy Friday!!

2008-03-14T13:34:00.003-04:00

I am doing the Happy Dance... you know... the one that Snoopy does as he jumps for joy. His little toes wiggling under him, head up and ears happy. It is FRIDAY! The first week of state testing is done. Madeline is on day two of the Great Diaper Denial. She is loving the free feeling of panties! Last night as I was getting ready to lay her down in her bed she took my face in her little, soft hands. Then she pulled our faces together, noses touching. She whispered softly the following into my face... "Morning Madeline PeePee Potty." She was making sure I understood that this diaper I had put on her for bed time was NOT staying. She was not happy about having to wear it to bed, but understood she had no choice. She also understood that wearing panties tomorrow was the choice she was making. What a big girl!

I love the weekends. I love spending time with my family. I love sleeping in. I love snuggling in the late morning with my kids... though Riley is really the big morning cuddler. I love standing outside, watching the kids play and chatting with my neighbors. It is just my favorite part of the week.

The hustle and bustle is still there on the weekends with birthday parties, practices, shopping and more... but doing those things with my family makes it so much easier. I think that I am very lucky. Jerry and I have been together now for 22 years... and we still love spending time together. We still make each other laugh. We still drive each other bonkers. We still enjoy being each others friend. I think, most of all, we LOVE being parents together. Our kids just mean the world to us. They are our greatest achievement.

The Sahara

2008-03-13T18:17:00.002-04:00

Madeline spent the entire day.... including nap in her Elmo panties and stayed completly dry!!! YIPEE! I am so proud of her. She is strutting around knowing she is all that! I know we will have many accidents to come... but what a great start we are off to.

Pics of Kids (RQ Post)

2008-03-13T09:30:00.003-04:00

Yes, More Potty Talk

2008-03-13T08:02:00.002-04:00

I have been taking deep, cleansing breaths all morning. Madeline's school wanted me to send her in panties today. They want to try no diapers except at nap time. This is more stressful for me than her!!! I was going to send her in a diaper and then let them change her when she got into her regular room. (She gets to school about 15 minutes before her teacher and goes to a different room first thing every morning.) She REFUSED to allow me to put the diaper on her. She made it clear that she was supposed to wear panties to school. So, she did. I sent two replacement pairs of panties and shorts. I am going to be thinking about her all day.... wondering how she is doing. This is my baby!!! How can she be ready to be potty trained???????? Okay.. more deep breaths. Does anyone have a paper bag I can borrow????

Getting Busy

2008-03-12T11:26:00.004-04:00

It is amazing how life can be so busy. As James gets older he gets busier. Right now he has things up every day after school. He also has a birthday party on Saturday. We have a family gathering with Jerry's family on Saturday, too. The following two Saturdays are already booked, too. Riley is begging to go back to gymnastics. I need to find another gym though. He is aging out of the gym he has gone to previously. They only allow boys through the age of 6. We need to find a quality, inexpensive gym with the correct aparatus for boys. (Yes, I am sure I spelled aparatus wrong, but the spell check isn't working right now.)

Oh, by the way, I forgot that Easter is right around the corner. I mean I knew it was coming but I have done NOTHING to prepare. We were also invited to participate in an egg hunt next Saturday, too. I just realized I haven't even responded to the invite. Oops.

We are smack dab in the middle of state testing. It is my least favorite time of the year. I really do not understand how a state can assess whether a student has learned a specific grade level curriculum when there are still 3 months remaining in the school year. (Don't even get me started on this one.) During this time some extremely smart person (sarcasm) decided it would also be a good time to teach the Human Growth and Development unit. -just not right How do I teach about puberty, etc after students have spent hours testing all morning. The last thing they are in the mood for is to learn about body changes and how a baby is made.

We spent about two hours outside yesterday afternoon working on the new playset and talking with neighbors. It was GORGEOUS outside. Madeline decided to try to eat some grass. Yummy! Of course she had eaten ice cream previously and refused to let me wipe her face. So... she looked quite lovely with pieces of grass and dirt stuck to her face. Very attractive. Riley decided to put dog poop on James' hand. That was a beautiful brotherly bonding moment. I was so proud. (heh!) James didn't pound him. His restraint was memorable.

I think the best thing of all is that my big time antibiotics left me with a sweet present just when my friend came to visit. I am one lucky gal!!

Okay.... that is enough rambling for now.

Ciao

Big Step Forward

2008-03-10T21:08:00.002-04:00

Madeline came inside from playing, went into the bathroom, disrobed... and... POOPED on the potty all by herself!!! WOOOHOO!!! Full on happy dance going on here! She didn't even tell anyone she had to go! She took off her shoes, socks, pants and Pull-Up, climbed up on the potty and went to the bathroom. When she was done she yelled for me and cried a little. I think she may have shocked herself! We called grandparents and aunts and uncles to share the good news and heap a boat load of praise.

PS
She stayed dry for 2 and a half hours after this and then... had diarrahea in undies and jeans. Mom wasn't home so Dad had the job of cleaning it all up. That is two great things in one day!!!!!!!!!!

Busy Weekend

2008-03-10T13:51:00.002-04:00

We had a weekend filled with great ups and sad downs. It was one of those weekends that will not be soon forgotten. Let's start with some good stuff.

Riley and Madeline went to their friend Ava's second birthday party. The party was at a farm. What a blast! They brushed goats, petted sheep and then things got very different for the two of them. Riley held a baby chick. Madeline cried in fear. Riley looked with wonder at the HUGE potbelly pig. Madeline worried about the mud on her shoes. Riley ran around the coop with the chickens. Madeline pressed herself firmly against the fence unwilling to go in. Riley held a cute white bunny. Madeline climed up in to Mama's arms because she was having no interest in getting close to the bunny at all. Riley followed the geese and ducks around the fence. Madeline ran in fear from the tall birds making noises. Riley rode a horse for the first time. Madeline sat and ate three meatballs. We had an absolute blast!!

Later that night we pulled our fire pit around front to the driveway. There were about 30 of us from our neighboorhood out and about from 6:30 until about midnight. The kids played. The adults talked. It was such a great time. Every time one of these little soires is planned we always have a nice time. We are just very fortunate to have such amazing neighbors.

On Sunday we went to Home Depot and bought a kit for a big playset. It is going to be very cool! Jerry, my dad and our friend Allan got it started. It is going to be a project to assemble, but hours of fun will be had by the Reynolds' children this summer.

Now on to the sad news.... I have a very close friend... she is a sister from college who is struggling. I mean REALLY struggling. She had a bad break-up with her partner of six years a few months ago. Her father has been in and out of the hospital and nursing facilities non-stop the last three months. She has been making the 4 hour car trip every weekend to try to help her mother. She has struggled with depression for several years now. I never really thought about this too much since she has been going to a Dr. for 4 years and they have been trying to figure out the right meds. for her... but she really has had extreme highs and lows. Her highs are higher than I can imagine. Her lows.. are frightful lows. Recently she has been making some really questionable choices in relationships. Last Wednesday she was admitted to the hospital against her will. I didn't find out about it until Friday night. On Saturday after the birthday party I went to visit her. I spent the entire hour available visiting. While sitting there and talking to her... I realized that this is right where she needed to be. We talked. I was very honest with her. She told me some things she had done recently that were...hmmm... just not good. She is struggling. The Dr. has not put her on medicine that is usually used with bipolar patients. I think, if that is her diagnosis, it is probably spot on. She is terrified that this label is going to be placed on her. I think it may be her saving grace. I so want her to just find a nice, quiet normalcy to her life. I want her to find peace without thinking that means her life must be over.

I am not sure how to be the friend she needs right now without being completly honest with her. I won't play games. I won't baby her. I don't think that would be right or fair. She is an intelligent, kind and compassionate person who deserves all the love and honesty I can give her without disrespecting her by being less than honest.

So... that was the gist of my weekend. The good and the bad. The beauty and the beast.

Cuteness

2008-03-07T14:55:00.001-05:00

There are many things in life that are cute.... but my two year old daughter in pink Elmo panties, takes the cake. There is absolutely nothing cuter.

I Wonder

2008-03-05T17:31:00.004-05:00

I was reading about this family who sent a letter to close family and friends regarding attachment practices they will be following upon bringing their daughter home from China. There is a TON of research on this topic. This family made the choices that were best for their family and decided to share it in a letter prior to bringing their baby home.

One of the recipients of the letter responded anon. with just truly hateful comments. The family was able to figure out who it was that sent the response. They are trying to decide where to head with this from here.

This scenario has caused me to really sit and think about many things.

We read and researched a lot about attachment and recommendations regarding how to handle introducing people into our children's lives upon returning home from China. We talked about what we would try to do.

You know... with both adoptions things were very different than we planned. We decided to be lead by our child instead of by research. Riley handled coming home very differently than Madeline. He was also significantly older.

I understand COMPLETELY the desire to prepare close friends and family for the possible scenarios. I have read the research. I have worried as a waiting parent about whether my children would bond with me... with us.

In the time that I have spent thinking about this I came to a few conclusions.

1. I am sooooo glad we never wrote a letter to family and friends. We didn't follow the plans we shared verbally since we took all of our cues from our children. Putting this in writing somehow feels to me like it ties you in to your plans no matter how you child reacts upon coming home.

2. Even though I have read the research, talked to the professionals, etc... I think I would have been very put off if I received a similar letter. I think I would have felt like the sender was treating me like I was an idiot who would physically force my presence on a child who was struggling. Heck, I won't hold a new born who is unhappy for long. This is not because I don't want to hold the crying baby, but know that the parents come first.

3. I don't think I would respond to a hateful response to a letter I sent, but just remove the person from my life. If someone was uncomfortable with what I wrote or shared, then they should talk to me about it... not write an obnoxious hate mail letter and send it unsigned.

4. Adoptive parents are worriers. Heck... new parents are worriers. PARENTS are worriers. The unknown can be all consuming. I think worrying is just part of the parental framework.

5. People can be judgemental on both sides of a coin. Both sides can have different degrees of being wrong and right. Now, don't get me wrong. I in no way, shape or form agree with sending anon. hate letters... but I do understand the concept that this person was hurt and caught off guard by this letter. I wonder if parents of soon to be born biological children feel the need to send letters like this.

6. I feel very bad for the waiting parent. It is stressful enough waiting in a line that seems to go on endlessly for the idea of a future child but to deal with this as well.. that is tough.

7. I am glad my babies are all home now. Whew!

I think it is sad that a friendship that spanned over 20 years is ending due to something like this. That is probably the worst part of all of this. I don't know if the parents will ever forget what happened. Hopefully, with time and distance, life will move on for them in a more positive and loving way.

Okay.... jumping off this topic. Maybe I need to write more about potty training and kids.

One More Thing....

2008-03-04T21:28:00.002-05:00

James crossed over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts tonight after 5 years of learning and laughing. He earned his Arrow of Light. We are so proud of him!

Boy Scouts will be a whole new world.

Also... football scares me. I love watching the pros, but hate watching my baby. Who do those other boys think they are hitting and tackling my baby!!! (Umm... and James is probably the tallest kid out there. He is far from a delicate child, but I still hate it.) Maybe he will decide he likes another sport that does not involve physical contact. I know, fat chance.

Quick Update

2008-03-04T21:00:00.001-05:00

4 peepees in the potty today.

New Elmo panties.

Life is good.

Crossing My Fingers

2008-03-03T11:58:00.002-05:00

Well, my sweet Miss M has decided she rather likes the potty. Yesterday, totally on her own, she asked to sit on the potty twice. BOTH times she emptied her bladder!!!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! We danced and sang the peepee in the potty song. It was glorious! She was so proud... and rightfully so. Wow! I am thinking if we really start trying this potty thing on a regular basis she may potty train fairly quickly.

She is just growing up so quickly. Madeline has decided she does not want to be called Maddie at all. If anyone breaks this new rule she will not hesitate to correct you by saying.. No Maddie, I Madeline. Such a little thing yet so opinionated. This whole language explosion is great... but with a greater vocabulary comes the ability to make our thoughts known especially when we disagree.

My girl is growing taller by the minute. A year ago she was in 9 month sized clothing. Now she completely fills out 24 month sized clothing. We really think she will ultimately be taller than Riley. She has big feet, long legs and is just a solid kid for her age as compared to US growth charts. She is no wilting daisy.

Madeline is starting to ask for me to do things with her hair. She will generally leave it alone unless she is bored in the car seat or in her crib. Otherwise she likes to have her hair done up. Now, as she gets older I see this becoming a problem. For anyone who knows me well... they know... I am rather hair challenged. I am not a froofroo hair thingy kind of gal. I can brush my hair and put a schrunchie in it and that is about it. I am not kidding. I almost burnt down the house using a blow dryer. I have a flat iron because it was a gift. I have no clue how to use it. As long as M. is content with a barrette or pony tails we are good. Beyond that I may have to go to beauty school.... I have this big fear of being like Frenchy in Grease... a beauty school drop out. I don't want to embarass my girl, but hair stuff is truly beyond my abilities.

Hey... does anyone know if it is easier if I let her bangs grow out? I am thinking it would be so cute with them pulled back to one side... but don't know if I am opening a whole new hair care bag of worms. Advice is greatly appreciated.

By the way.... I am LOVING having a daughter. My boys are so all mine. Madeline is a Daddy's girl. This is new to me. The boys always choose me first. Madeline is all Jerry's. It is so different. I love trying to figure out of these girly things. She is so worth it.

Jenni's Grandparents

2008-03-01T09:05:00.004-05:00

My friend, Jenni, wrote a post on her blog about her grandmother, Mamaw. I have to tell you, it brought back a flood of wonderful memories.

Jenni and I met back in 1988, I think. We were in college together. We got to know each other and became great friends. During this time Jenni's grandparents were a very present part of her life at home. Because of that, I was lucky enough to be able to get to know them, too.

Jenni's grandfather, Papaw, was a very unique man. He was sweet and kind... but you could tell he had always worked hard in his life. He would talk about growing crops, his home in TN and the rough years. He was friendly and always had an innocent hospitality about him. I will never forget Jenni telling me about Papaw being hit by the car. Her family was having a yard/garage sale, I think. Papaw had gone out to the main road to put a sign up or down. (Heck, this has been 20 years, I am trying to put the pieces back together here.) Papaw was hit by a car. Now, this man was tough as nails. He survived and lived for many more years sharing his wisdom and memories.

Jenni's grandmother, Mamaw, was a cute little spit fire. She loved her family fiercely. She had the sweetest voice. I used to love seeing Mamaw. She greeted me like family. She welcomed me with a feeling of love and acceptance. It always felt like an honor to be in Mamaw's presence. I think one of the memories of Mamaw that will always bring a smile to my face was after Mamaw had lost her eyesight. I remember walking into Jenni's parent's home in Lake Wales. Mamaw was sitting at the table. I walked over to greet her with a hug. Mamaw took my hands in hers and said ... in her southern drawl... "Now, Mary, I can't see very well anymore but I sure am glad you are here." She was so wonderful. Mamaw made me feel like she cared for me as much as she did for her family. She just had that way about her.

Reading Jenni's post about Mamaw has opened up a few conversations between Jerry and I about our memories of Mamaw and Papaw. They were just good people, who cared about others and treated us with acceptance, kindness and love. We miss them.

Sick

2008-02-22T10:23:00.002-05:00

Okay.... I am sick. I have bronchitis and walking pneumonia. It STINKS!! I am on 4 prescriptions. I am exhausted... and yes I am complaining. There is something therapeutic about getting out my frustrations.

So far everyone else is healthy, thank goodness. Madeline is very confused by me being so tired and distant. Last night she climbed into my bed next to me, pulled up the covers and held my hand. It was so sweet. Riley even brought me his beloved blankie and draped it over me. This is a big deal since he keeps his blankie very close at hand at all times. James must have come in and felt my forehead a hundred times. I have the most loving children. I am one lucky Mama.

So... now back to bed.

Happy Friday!

Love

2008-02-14T21:21:00.000-05:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.--1 Corinthinans 13:4-8a

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T10:30:00.002-05:00

May your day be filled with hugs, smooches and smiles!

Riley

2008-02-13T13:32:00.004-05:00

I think I changed in an inexplicable way on March 9, 2004.

I realized that my view of my future and the true direction of my life may not match - and that is okay.

I love all of my children. Riley, from the first day, has been different.

Every aspect of his life is ..... unexpected.
Every turn, for him, is unique.
He has no golden tickets or free rides.

You must earn his love, trust and acceptance.
He does not give these out freely.
He listens to everything... even when playing - comprehending things way beyond his years.

He is acutely aware that his life is full of challenges.

He understands individuality.
He challenges.
He confronts.
He fights.

Without all of these -
*he wouldn't have survived being left
*he wouldn't be able to talk
*he wouldn't love his family fiercely
*he wouldn't ride his bike with feet on the handlebars.. wind on his face
*he wouldn't laugh from the heart

Riley is a champion.. He overcomes adversity. He faces life's challenges head-on. He is the strongest person I have ever met.

I am a better person, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher because of the lessons Riley has taught me.

Dreams

2008-02-13T13:27:00.003-05:00

Dreams come in all shapes and sizes.
Some are not measurable.
Some are an idea.
Some are a whisper in the ear.

Dreams are not promises but wishes of heart.
Some dreams are short, fleeting - truly no more than a tiny tug.
Other dreams are strong, fierce and full of yearning.

Embracing dreams with the body and soul can be the most rewarding of life's experiences and.... at times, the most powerful of disappointments.

Some times what feels like a dream lost is actually a bigger dream - yet to be imagined.

Dreams fulfilled open the windows to the heart.

Dream

Happy New Year!

2008-02-12T13:19:00.000-05:00

It is the time of year to celebrate the New Year. This year is the year of the Rat! James is a Year of the Rat baby so this is his lucky year! We have already been celebrating for almost a week now. Couplets are hung. Lanterns are decorated. Red envelopes exchanged. We look forward to the many gifts and blessings this year will hold for us.

Mom

2008-02-05T09:05:00.001-05:00

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and
started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has
germs, ' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do
you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it,
or they don't let you be a Mom.'

We walked along in silence of or 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new
information. 'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be
The Dad.'

'Exactly' I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Christmas.... yup. late!!

2008-01-20T19:06:00.000-05:00

Madeline in her princess towel on Christmas morning!

Madeline's first Christmas home!! YIPEE!!

Moe and Nick home from Australia!!

Riley and his tool box! He is loving being the next Bob Builder!!

The Virginia gang and Nana! What a great Christmas gift!!

Christmas Dinner 2007

James opening video games. Santa did a good job!!

A Few Birthday Party Pics....

2008-01-19T22:22:00.001-05:00

Riley loved his Power Ranger cake! He didn't eat a bite, but had a blast blowing out the candles.

Madeline has quite an arm on her. Playing and running with the football is even more fun when you steal it from your big brother!

James and baby cousin Lylah bonding at the birthday party. Lylah was born on Thanksgiving.

Riley the Power Ranger to the Rescue!!! Talk about a great birthday gift!! Wooohooo!

Here it is... the birthday bike! You have to ride the new bike with the birthday blower in your mouth, right????

Hey.... Miss Me?

2008-01-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my ability to update, write and post pictures has been seriously lax lately. I know, I know... I tell myself almost daily to get my rear in gear, but life is CRAZY!!

Riley turned six last Friday. He was beyond excited. His new bike was assembled and waiting for him when he woke up. (I wish Jerry could have seen his face!) Riley got dressed, ate breakfast and finished all of his morning activities quickly. Before heading to school he took his bike for an inaugural spin. Talk about being over the moon! I think he wandered around in a state of disbelief the majority of the day. He enjoyed handing out cookies to his class. His dinner request was Chilli's. That boy LOVES queso!! It was even more special having Nana and Grampy join us. After dinner we headed home for cake and presents. It was overall a great day.

On a side note... his favorite gift after the bike was his Wizard of Oz video. He will sit for hours watching it with his blankie. He needs the blankie to protect him from the witch. He is always awe-struck when the movie goes from black and white to color. He wonders where Dorothy's school friends are at the beginning. He thinks the little people are great singers. We aren't really sure what he thinks of the flying monkeys besides he doesn't like the way they treat Toto. What a funny, little guy.

James now has braces on his top teeth. He still has some work to be done on the bottom teeth before those brackets go on. He has been such a trooper. Truly, since his spacers and then braces James has only complained maybe twice. He is very glad his teeth are being straightened. I think he was more self concious than we realized. James also moved back into Gifted two weeks ago. His teacher said he has just fallen in as if he has been there all year. Jerry and I are so proud of him. He just is such a solid kid.

Madeline is Madeline... she is healthy, opinionated, strong willed and VERY verbal. She went from one word utterances to three and four word sentences in weeks. The other day I told her she was going to be doing something. Her response... "I don't want to." My jaw hit the floor. How at 26 months old and learning her second language have we progressed to this point so quickly. She has very definite opinions about what she is going to wear every day. She does not hesitate to disrobe and redress into what she wanted to wear even though her mother didn't dress her in it. She will remind others to brush her teeth and hair. She is a hoot.

Jerry and I are doing well.. reveling in our family and good fortune.

Life is good.

Brief Update

2008-01-07T20:22:00.000-05:00

1. Spacers in
2. 6 year old check up - Riley finally hit 40 lbs.! Now he can move to a booster!!
3. Still sick
4. Back to work today and school for the kiddos tomorrow
5. Madeline is talking up a storm.. everything is "mine"
6. Dentist on Wed. and braces on Thurs.
7. Moe and Nick leave Wed.... :-( going to miss them big time
8. Planning to trip to Australia summer of '09
9. Grampy and Riley took down all of the holiday decorations today
10. Riley is 6 on FRIDAY!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
11. Is it Spring Break yet?

Hugs and Kisses!
M

Braces

2008-01-03T13:14:00.000-05:00

Today is the first of two appointments for James to get braces. WOW!! He is pretty calm about this whole thing. He has a records appointment and spacers today, a cleaning on next Wednesday and then the final stick 'em on appointment next Thursday. This is going to be interesting.

In other James news... he is now taller than me. He just turned 11 and he is taller than me. Now, I know I am far from a giant, but man, having your 5th grader be taller than you is interesting. He thinks this is GREAT! He does, however, know that I can still take care of any business needed regardless of how tall he is.

James is switching classes in school when we return next week. He has this peaceful outlook about this whole thing. He really was against the idea at first, but when presented with the other alternative.. of changing schools, he warmed up to the idea. We kept James out of the Gifted program last year hoping that he would be adequately challenged. Well, last year he was. He skipped 4th grade Math, he was put in a Book Club with 5th graders, even though he was in 4th, and his teachers just did a remarkable job pushing him. This year a strange complacency has fallen over him. He just is not being pushed at all. So, back to Gifted we go. It is funny. He is smart enough to know that this is what he needs.

The library at school has been requesting books for him since they don't have a selection of books for his reading level. I just can't imagine... he is such a strong reader. He is currently reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. These are lower reading level but at least high interest. I am not sure where to head next for books for him. His reading level was tested out at end of high school, though the content of that level books is not appropriate for a 5th grader. So... if you have any suggestions, PLEASE let me know.

Riley goes for his 6 year old check up tomorrow. I am hoping he has finally hit 40 pounds so we can move him to a booster seat. He is such a peanut! He is very excited about going to the doctor.... because he gets a toy from the doctor if he behaves. My boy is all about bribes. I will let you know how it goes.

Madeline is asleep now... thank goodness. She is quite a pistol. She is talking in 2 and 3 word phrases. It is amazing. She loves to argue with her brothers, touch things she shouldn't and just generally push buttons. What a hoot!

We took a lot of pictures the past two weeks. I will try to upload a few soon.

Off to the ortho........