Day 3- Moving Forward

Friday came. The first thing scheduled this morning was the all convention photo. Everyone was to wear red and white. I got up first thing in the morning, grabbed my suitcase and headed out the door. A HUGE storm hit on my way to convention. The rain was intense. The ride that was supposed to take me about 35 minutes. It ended up taking me over 90 minutes! I missed the photo and the Chatty Cathy photo after that. I was disappointed but thankful that I arrived safely at the hotel.

I checked into the hotel and went up to my room. I only stayed in the hotel two of the four nights of convention.

Friday was a good day. Business meetings were... ummm... interesting. Amending, amended, amendments. Big fun! Ha! A wonderful Adventures in Sisterhood Luncheon was enjoyed. I LOVED hearing the PIP stories. I was fortunate to be able to spend a little time with Peg Crawford and reminisce about the time we spent together at Gamma Theta back in 1985 and 1986. She is such an amazingly charming, and energetic woman! I wish I had 1/10th of her strength and energy! The time I spent with her at IC, I will carry with me forever. She is such a joy.

After the convention activities for the day were done, a group of Gamma Theta's headed out for the evening. We went to Stump's for dinner. It was so nice! Several sisters who live locally, but did not attend convention joined us for dinner. After dinner, we headed over to Howl At The Moon for some laughs, conversation and drinks. It was so neat to see so many gathered with a common history. The 25th Anniversary for Gamma Theta Installation is a year from September. Maybe this IC convention will be the proper catalyst to make the anniversary a big, wonderful experience shared by many.

Friday certainly made up for the difficult day on Thursday. I am glad I continued to push ahead.

Did They Share the Adventure? - Day 2

Day Two... not really sure what to write. I can't believe today happened the way it did. It was not what I expected but more what I feared.

I have been waffling back and forth as to what to write. You see, today was... difficult. I don't regret going to IC today. I am glad I went. I just had an experience that taught me a lot... and showed the side of me I like to hide.

I was alone in a room full of sisters.

Maybe I will explain more later. Maybe I won't.

I have faith that tomorrow will be better.

Day 1... did it Exceed the Expectation?

Wednesday morning came fast. I had not slept well. I was too excited. I got up, got dressed... looked kinda cute too..ha!... and headed out the door. I could not believe I was actually heading to IC! WOW!! I had seen countless pictures of Conventions gone by. I had read countless stories from the past. The images came flooding into my head with eager anticipation. It was strange... similar to all of those goofy feelings we have as anxious kids going to a new friend's house for the first time.

I arrived at the hotel and gingerly went upstairs to check in. I was handed some papers and sent to another location to get the rest of my materials for the week. I hustled over to my "mailbox" and peeked inside, unsure of what treasures would lie inside.

LO AND BEHOLD.....

I was shocked and pleased to find that 6 different people... only one who I knew personally, had honored me with Rose Tributes. I could not believe it! Heck, I had only heard a little about what these were up to now... and here I was at my first IC being so surprised. What a fantastic way to start the day!

As the day progressed, things went well. I volunteered for 2 hours working on making preparations for the candle lighting ceremony that evening. It was nice to be able to participate in such a unique and special way. Then, I went to a meeting for Corp. Boards. It was neat to be surrounded by others who volunteer their time in a similar way. I learned a lot.. and found the dialogue interesting.

I was two for two for the day.

During the day I met two sisters who I had only previously known online. They were warm, gracious and spent some time with me. It was nice. I felt I had begun to make friends. I now KNEW people at convention. I was no longer worried about being awkward and alone in a room full of sisters. I talked to people. I moved out of my comfort zone of being insecure and just did it! I ended the day by attending the candle lighting ceremony. It was so special... something I had never seen before.

Day One was a success. I could not wait to see what Day Two would hold for me. I went home feeling strong, happy and relieved.


I felt renewed in my bonds to AOII.

IC Part One

Well, it is IC week. I have been looking forward to this for two years. Two years ago I envisioned this experience quite differently than reality has caused it to be. Life changes. It twists and turns in unexpected directions. It is to be expected. I spent countless hours scouring the malls for everything I needed to make sure I had exactly what I needed... one white outfit - Check, one LBD - Check, business attire - check, white close toed shoes - check.......

On Tuesday night I could barely sleep. I was excited, nervous and hoping for a wonderful time. I ran around the house making preparations for the days ahead.

For being a member of AOII for 23 years, this was my first convention. I had no idea what to expect. I just wanted to take it all in, meet people and enjoy the time.

What happened next I could never have imagined.

My Kids

This is what they do when I am out of my classroom in the mornings for meetings.

My sweet baby girl and her new glasses.   She LOVES them!  She said her eyes work now!  They are purple.  According to Miss M. the princesses wear purple glasses.  Gotta love her!

Alone in a Room Full of Sisters

One of the things I love is being a member of my sorority, AOII. This is something that has always been a source of great pride to me. That being said, I am far from your stereotypical sorority girl. I never have been. Many are surprised to learn that I am in a sorority. I find this interesting and funny.

In 1985 I headed off to college. I was young, enthusiastic and ready to face the world. I moved into the dorm and started to meet people and make friends. One of the friends I made was VERY interested in joining a sorority. She wanted to go through Rush but didn't want to go it alone. She asked me if I would go with her. I said I would, but had absolutely NO interest in pledging. I was going to support my friend. I did not see myself as someone a sorority would be interested in. I was very insecure, really. I didn't think any of these groups would find me "worthy" of being a member.

Much to my shock I was asked back to different groups during each round of rush parties. I couldn't believe it. When it was time to go to the last round of parties, Prefs, I was now going through Rush alone. My friend had decided this wasn't for her... but I kept going. I went to two Pref parties, AOII and Chi O. Each group was very different, but special in their own way. I remember looking at my selection card after Prefs and wondering what would happen next. I selected AOII as my first choice. After getting to know the girls, it just seemed like the right fit. They were friendly, kind and open to ME. I was so worried about whether they would want me, too.

Bid day came and I could hardly wait. When I opened up my envelope and so the words "Alpha Omicron Pi" I was ecstatic!! They wanted me. I wanted them. I went to the room where all of the girls were waiting and was greeted by the best reception ever. I knew immediately I had made the right choice.

During the next 24 years I slowly became involved as an Alumna. I first started about 10 years after graduation joining an Alumna Chapter. I did a few things here and there with them. The local AC was not a very active and strong group. It waxed and waned over the years. It didn't really give me the opportunities to become close with other sisters after college.

7 years ago one of my pledge sisters contacted me. She was heading up the Corporation Board for our chapter's new home. We had never had a house before so this was a big deal. She asked me to help. So, for the past 6 years I have been the VP of the Corporation Board. It has given me the chance to feel like I am involved again. Now, it is far from a popular position. It does not make you the most desireable person to the collegiates. I didn't mind, because I have always loved my sisterhood. I knew that, in the long run, I was helping to give back.

Now, is where I get to the part of being alone. In all of these years I have always been involved on the periphial. I have not been the most visible AOII around campus or meetings. I have done fulfilled my responsibilities proudly. (That is what made it easy to become a Life Loyal, the pride I have in being an AOII.)

For many, many years I have wanted to attend an International Convention. It is something I have never had the opportunity or, truth be told, the confidence to do. As proud as I am of being an AOII, I am insecure in being active.

I sit here, form filled out, waiting to push the submit button on my first IC registration and I am terrified. I don't know anyone personally who is going to IC and staying at the hotel. I so want to be totally immersed in this experience, but I worry about being alone in a room full of sisters. It is kind of like being the new kid at school. Where do you sit at a meal? Who will say hello to you as you walk in the room? Will you be accepted and welcomed or alone on the side??

Silly.

But true.

I can't wait to go to my first IC. Regardless of my feelings of insecurity, I am GOING! I am going to do my best to put myself into the fray. -to put myself into the conversaion. -to once again walk into that room full of sisters and feel so excited to be one of the group of women that I have always so loved. I am looking forward, with much excitement and fear, to being a wanted and welcomed member of my sisterhood again.

I love Alpha Omicron Pi, it's ideals, values and members.

International Convention... here I come.


YIKES!!

Separated at Birth?????

Guess What.......

Did you????

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from our home to yours!

James is wearing his football uniform.  His team just finished the regular season 10-0.  They are the number one seed heading into the post season.  Very exciting.  His 12th (gulp) birthday is November 11th.  I am taking him to see Phantom of the Opera on 11/9. He has been talking about it.  The final straw was when he left the Performing Arts Center window up on my  work computer with a note saying that this "looks cool".   Hint, hint, huh?  James just finished his first quarter of middle school and kicked some serious butt.  He is taking three periods of Gifted, Advanced Math, Band, and Reading.  What a smarty pants.  Obviously intellect is not hereditary since he is significantly smarter than his parents. 

Riley is ObiWan Kenobi.  He looks too freakin' cute!  He was on the announcements at school this morning in his costume for having read 2oo books so far this school year.  What a hoot!  He asked if he can eat candy for dinner tonight.  Umm... that would be a NO!  He is loving the cooler weather.   Oh... and he has a MASSIVE crush on his teacher.  She can do no wrong in his eyes.  Talk about sweet.  Riley just finished his first season of flag football.  His team didn't win a game, but they had a blast.  He LOVES his trophy.  He has it displayed next to his pet hamster, Schnicklefritz's home.  He wants to make sure his little buddy can see it at all times.  He is one funny fellow.

Madeline is a princess.  Ummm... well...  hmmm.... We shall see.  She picked out the costume but really is a non-conformist like her mother.  I have a sinking feeling she will be outside tonight in her candy corn shirt, jeans and sparkly princess shoes without a  princess costume.  Madeline will turn three next Wednesday.  Talk about breaking a Mama's heart.  How on Earth did we get to this point.  It is just overwhelming.  She is too darn smart, too.  She knows her colors, counts past ten, recognizes several letters, has an opinion on EVERYTHING and sings, sings, sings.  She knows the days of the week in English and Spanish... she can also count in Spanish.  Her teacher at school is bilingual and teaches the kids both languages.  What a sponge!

Jerry is being ever patient with all of my drama.  He is a good guy.  (Don't tell him I said that or I will deny it.) 

I am revving up for surgery on November 21st.  I am sooooo ready to get this over with.  I am looking forward to feeling better.

Enjoy the weekend with your family.  We will be coming down from a sugar high.

Kisses!

Nuclear Stress Test.. not so good

Okay, I have been having cardiac concerns for a few weeks now.  With the 911 call and two days later a visit to the ER a few EKG's, and MRI, and more, I knew a cardiologist visit was soon to follow.  A week ago Monday I had my first visit.  Loved him!   He asked a million questions, was proactive and really wanted to get to the bottom of what is going on.  So... last Wednesday and Thursday I spent the days sporting a fashionable and quite trendy heart monitor.  Let me tell you... I can rock a holter!  ha!  Being the clausterphobic person I am, it was not fun... but I just did it.  I knew it would give more information to figure out what was going on.   I thought.. whew!  If I can do this the rest will be easy.

Silly me.

This past Monday I was scheduled for an Echocardiogram with bubble (sounds fun, huh?  I love bubbles!) and a Nuclear Stress Test.  The doctor said to expect about a 4 hour visit.   Jerry went with me... cause you know this is causing him to worry and panic.... and all was off to a good start.   

I was hooked up to the cath thingy in my arm.  Radioactive stuff was sent in.... then off for the Echo.   Well... during the echo the cath sprung a leak.  Nothing like a little blood going all over me and the room.  Very exciting.  People came running, trying to get it to stop.  Jerry looked like he had had enough at this point.  I felt fine... just hoping it wasn't getting on my cute little skort.  (You know... that is important during all of this!  PRIORITIES!)  They get the geyser to stop and continue the test.  What should have been about 10 minutes ended up taking about 40.  The good part of this was we only had to wait another 5 minutes before the Stress Test guy came to get me.

So... into the big revolving chair I went.  This is not designed for short people.  With my arms above my head, feet dangling, I was told it would be about 20+ minutes I had to sit completely still in this machine.  SO... I tried to get comfortable (ya right!) and find my Zen like place to ride out this part of the test.  I did it.  No problem.   Things were looking UP!!  

Next, they took me to the treadmill.  I was hooked up to my second set of electrodes for the day.  The fun part this time was when they used the human sand paper to make sure they had a good contact.  It hurt!!!!  I was tough and joked around the entire time.  They explained to me that the test would contain an initial 3 minute warm-up walk and then the treadmill would get faster and be on a more steep angle.  They would be monitoring my vitals and give me more radioactive "stuff" when I reached optimum heart rate.  They said the test could last as long as 30 minutes.   So, I get on the treadmill and start walking.  I fell confident.. and somewhat athletic.  (I think I look GOOD walking all confident and tall.)  Less than 2 minutes into the test the Dr. starts acting quite alarmed.

Well... my heart decided to jump to above the optimum rate in less than two minutes.  This is virtually unheard of for people of my delicate age.  The Dr. sent the Tech over to me.  He asked how I was feeling... and then my ears went numb.  Hmmm... guessing this isn't a good sign. ;-)  So.. the Dr. decided that was it!  Test done!   In less than 3 minutes my Nuclear Stress test was ended.  

No clue.

I go back next Monday to discuss results and to figure out the next steps.  They offered me no information, insight or options.  

I am thinking it will be fine.   I know it is probably something that a little pill can help.

No worries... just don't want to do that stress test again.  It tends to scare everyone around me.  I was fine, but everyone else in the room was not.

I don't like to make things easy for people.

WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rays are going to the WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!

Update Craziness

Well, here it is.. a long awaited post.  Who is waiting for it, I don't know... but thought I would update regardless.  :-)

My health has been up and down.  Surgery is scheduled for November 21st.  I can't wait!

I am hoping my recent issues will not postpone the surgery.  

Last Monday night I had some type of cardiac distress.  My poor family had to call 911.  It seems that my blood pressure is sky rocketing and then plummeting.

Last Wednesday my mother had to take me to the ER.  Again my blood pressure was very high. (bottom number was over 100)  I was also having chest pain and tightness.  I spent about 10 hours at the hospital.  Nitroglycerin finally brought my blood pressure down and helped with the chest pains.

So....  I am heading to a cardiologist today.  We shall see.

I am concerned that my surgery will have to be postponed until some answers are found.

In the midst of all of this we are in birthday party planning mode for Madeline (11/5) and James (11/11).    It is hard to believe Madeline will be 3 and James will be 12.  Where has the time gone???

Halloween costumes are purchased.   I will try to post pictures when the time comes.  

Thanks for checking in.  I miss writing... but need to concentrate on my health.

Hugs and Kisses!

Check Me OUT!!

1978, yeah baby!!!!
1988 and WORKING it!
1954 and looking better than ever!

I even looked good in the 1960's!! Wooohooooo!!


Check it out!!! http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Girly Information Ahead!

Okay.. if you don't want to hear about "feminine" issues then don't read this post. It won't be a long one.... but will give some info. to those who know me.

1st - having major issues with my monthly visitor. All tests came back normal.. but the Dr. is thinking we may need to do a hysterectomy. I have had my friend visiting since MAY!!!

2nd - The Dr. found two lumps. I had to have diagnostic tests and ultrasounds. Lumps are benign. Still caused major fear and stress. Whew! Glad that is over...

3rd - As I stated previously I have E- Coli. This has caused so many different little annoyances. The meds are working and I am on the mend.

4th - Symptoms of Menopause - I have been having night sweats, hot flashes and overall ick. (added to the never ending period!!) This has caused a lot of added issues for the Dr. to weed through to try to figure out what is going on.

I head to the surgeon at the end of the month. Hopefully we will get some clear direction and timeline at that time. Thank goodness my family is supportive, loving and patient!

Diagnosis #1

E Coli


It took almost two weeks to get this first diagnosis of what is going on with me. Well.. now we wait for the results of last weeks tests and today's tests.

I am going on some high dosage antibiotics for the next few weeks. We shall see.

Please send prayers and positive thoughts

Dr. appointment today brought out a few new health concerns as well as forced more tests for the original concerns.

Sooo.... Monday will be spent having a plethora of diagnostic tests that will hopefully show that is all well. (Power of positive thinking! :-) )


Kids are great.... active, happy and healthy.

Madeline will be baptized this coming Sunday.

Jerry is working like a crazy man.

Everyone is just plugging along.

God bless.....

Quick Update

We lost our sweet dog, Holly, today. She was 15. She was the most patient dog. She will be missed.


School has started. James started middle school. Riley is in 1st grade.


We are all sick right now. Great timing with losing Holly, huh?


I have been going through some challenging health issues. Your positive thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. More tests to come.


A very close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer one month ago. She had a double mastectomy last week.


Life has been challenging.

Taking a Break

Alot going on here... big things.


Be back soon.

Miss you

Then and Now

Let Go, Let God

I was listening to the radio earlier and a song came on that got me thinking. The song is a Christian song about releasing your plans and dreams. The actual song wasn't that moving to me, but the initial hook got my brain going.

When I was younger I had plans. My plans included marriage, having a house full of children, a successful job, big house, surrounded by friends and family. Now, in some ways all of my plans have been fulfilled. They have not, though, been fulfilled as I envisioned all of those years ago.

Jerry and I have been married for 18 years. We have been together for 22 years. During those years we have changed tremendously. We are VERY fortunate. We have watched friends and family marry and divorce. We have seen couples grow apart. We are so very blessed that our marriage has sustained. Not only has our marriage lasted, but we are closer and stronger than ever before. Yes, we argue. (I am usually in the right! HA!!) Yes, we are not the same people who met all of those years ago. We have changed drastically.... but we have changed together and never lost sight of our relationship.

When we were engaged we went to counseling through the Catholic church. We completed individual inventories on life and marriage expectations. We both wanted a big family. We both wanted 6 (gulp) kids. We both wanted to start getting pregnant about a year after marriage. We were both on the same page when it came to family.

We didn't see fertility issues in our future... why should we? We were both young and healthy. We never once even considered that this could be part of our life path. About 10 months after getting married we started "trying". We no longer used birth control. We just let life take it's course for 4 years before we really considered the possibility that something could be causing us to not get pregnant.

Eventually we decided to start having some tests run. It took about a year before we were finally told we had a 1 in 10 million chance of conceiving. Hmmm.. now, I am no Mathematician, but those odds just didn't sound good. We decided to buck the system and have IUI anyway. We took meds. Jerry gave me injections. On the day decided in a room full of doctors, interns and nurses we were inseminated. Two weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test result. We were elated. We were back on track.... for having those babies we so dearly wanted.

Nine weeks later I started bleeding... ALOT. I passed something big. It was obvious I was having a miscarriage... but I just couldn't believe it. We called our OB. We went to the ER. They did an ultrasound.... and there he was, JAMES! His little peanut body had a beautifully flickering heart! I had lost a baby.. and one remained. We had not known previously that I was pregnant with twins. That didn't even matter at that point. I was still pregnant. My baby was still growing inside me even though his sibling had left us. I spent the next 6 weeks in bed.

On November 11, 1996 James was born. He came into this world strong and healthy. He did not scream. He came here pensive and thoughtful. He is still that way today.

One year later we tried again. We get pregnant 3 more times in the next 18 months and miscarried within weeks each time.

We took some time off from fertility treatments. We enjoyed watching our son grow and change.

In 2001 we decided to try again. After 2 miscarriages we decided to stop for a few months. In January of 2002 we decided to try again.

I got pregnant. On February 6th I had a tubal rupture. I was rushed to the hospital. I had major internal bleeding. When they wheeled me into the OR, Jerry was told I might not make it.

Life changed instantly.

4 weeks before my tubal rupture a little boy was born in NanNing, GuangXi, People's Republic of China.

We didn't begin our adoption voyage until 2003. We decided it was not worth risking my life in order to add children to our family. Adoption, which had never been discussed before became our changed plan. God knew that we were stubborn. He knew that we would not see adoption as our journey unless He sent us a big message. My tubal rupture was that message.

Riley was born January 11, 2002. I had to have that rupture because MY baby had already been born in China. He was waiting for me... for us.... for his mother, father and brother.

During our initial adoption journey we requested an infant daughter. During our wait, James told us over and over again he wanted a brother. We had to explain to him, countless times, that he would have a sister.

When our referral call came, our lives were shook in a way I never imagined. The voice on the other end of the line told us that our infant daughter was actually a 2 year old son. James had his brother!! We had to repaint, redecorate and shop, shop, shop!!

We thought we knew the plan to our family but God knew better.

Riley was placed in our arms at 28 months old. He has filled our hearts and lives ever since.

During our wait for Riley, Jerry and I knew that this would be our last child. haha Silly. You would think we would have learned by now that we had to let God show us the way.

The minute we stepped foot in China in May of 2004 we knew we would return. It was a given. No hesitation. No real discussion. We both were certain that we would return again to bring home another child that God had chosen for us.

In 2005 we started the journey to Madeline. We had learned over and over again that all would work out just as it should. We knew that our child would come to us... male or female, young or older... our child was waiting.

Madeline has added a new dimension to our lives we never saw coming. She is strong, sassy and whew!!! temperamental. Jerry calls her my Mini Me. There is more truth in that then I really care to acknowledge! (Don't tell him I said so!!)

In the last 22 years years we have Let Go and Let God many times. We made a move to a city we really didn't know at all... because we Let God lead us there. It has turned out to be the BEST move we could have ever made. Our children are happy. We have amazing friends and neighbors. We have all grown and blossomed as individuals since we moved. It was more than we could have ever expected.

After the move I took the leap of faith and changed school districts. I had been with the same district for 16 years! It was my comfort zone. I applied in the district of our new home. I was offered a job at our neighborhood school. I was scared to make this change... but I Let God lead me. This has been the best move. I work with amazing people. I have an outstanding principal. The boys have thrived.

Whenever we have Let Go and Let God lead us life has given us greater rewards and riches than we could have ever imagined our planned for ourselves.

We planned our life... but the plans we had made don't come close the the reality we have lived. Jerry and I sit together at night after all has quieted down around us and just marvel in our blessings. We appreciate and cherish all that we have been given. We know that the obstacles that have been placed in our way were there to lead us to this place of grace.

Life is good.