Alone in a Room Full of Sisters

One of the things I love is being a member of my sorority, AOII. This is something that has always been a source of great pride to me. That being said, I am far from your stereotypical sorority girl. I never have been. Many are surprised to learn that I am in a sorority. I find this interesting and funny.

In 1985 I headed off to college. I was young, enthusiastic and ready to face the world. I moved into the dorm and started to meet people and make friends. One of the friends I made was VERY interested in joining a sorority. She wanted to go through Rush but didn't want to go it alone. She asked me if I would go with her. I said I would, but had absolutely NO interest in pledging. I was going to support my friend. I did not see myself as someone a sorority would be interested in. I was very insecure, really. I didn't think any of these groups would find me "worthy" of being a member.

Much to my shock I was asked back to different groups during each round of rush parties. I couldn't believe it. When it was time to go to the last round of parties, Prefs, I was now going through Rush alone. My friend had decided this wasn't for her... but I kept going. I went to two Pref parties, AOII and Chi O. Each group was very different, but special in their own way. I remember looking at my selection card after Prefs and wondering what would happen next. I selected AOII as my first choice. After getting to know the girls, it just seemed like the right fit. They were friendly, kind and open to ME. I was so worried about whether they would want me, too.

Bid day came and I could hardly wait. When I opened up my envelope and so the words "Alpha Omicron Pi" I was ecstatic!! They wanted me. I wanted them. I went to the room where all of the girls were waiting and was greeted by the best reception ever. I knew immediately I had made the right choice.

During the next 24 years I slowly became involved as an Alumna. I first started about 10 years after graduation joining an Alumna Chapter. I did a few things here and there with them. The local AC was not a very active and strong group. It waxed and waned over the years. It didn't really give me the opportunities to become close with other sisters after college.

7 years ago one of my pledge sisters contacted me. She was heading up the Corporation Board for our chapter's new home. We had never had a house before so this was a big deal. She asked me to help. So, for the past 6 years I have been the VP of the Corporation Board. It has given me the chance to feel like I am involved again. Now, it is far from a popular position. It does not make you the most desireable person to the collegiates. I didn't mind, because I have always loved my sisterhood. I knew that, in the long run, I was helping to give back.

Now, is where I get to the part of being alone. In all of these years I have always been involved on the periphial. I have not been the most visible AOII around campus or meetings. I have done fulfilled my responsibilities proudly. (That is what made it easy to become a Life Loyal, the pride I have in being an AOII.)

For many, many years I have wanted to attend an International Convention. It is something I have never had the opportunity or, truth be told, the confidence to do. As proud as I am of being an AOII, I am insecure in being active.

I sit here, form filled out, waiting to push the submit button on my first IC registration and I am terrified. I don't know anyone personally who is going to IC and staying at the hotel. I so want to be totally immersed in this experience, but I worry about being alone in a room full of sisters. It is kind of like being the new kid at school. Where do you sit at a meal? Who will say hello to you as you walk in the room? Will you be accepted and welcomed or alone on the side??

Silly.

But true.

I can't wait to go to my first IC. Regardless of my feelings of insecurity, I am GOING! I am going to do my best to put myself into the fray. -to put myself into the conversaion. -to once again walk into that room full of sisters and feel so excited to be one of the group of women that I have always so loved. I am looking forward, with much excitement and fear, to being a wanted and welcomed member of my sisterhood again.

I love Alpha Omicron Pi, it's ideals, values and members.

International Convention... here I come.


YIKES!!

Separated at Birth?????

Guess What.......

Did you????

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from our home to yours!

James is wearing his football uniform.  His team just finished the regular season 10-0.  They are the number one seed heading into the post season.  Very exciting.  His 12th (gulp) birthday is November 11th.  I am taking him to see Phantom of the Opera on 11/9. He has been talking about it.  The final straw was when he left the Performing Arts Center window up on my  work computer with a note saying that this "looks cool".   Hint, hint, huh?  James just finished his first quarter of middle school and kicked some serious butt.  He is taking three periods of Gifted, Advanced Math, Band, and Reading.  What a smarty pants.  Obviously intellect is not hereditary since he is significantly smarter than his parents. 

Riley is ObiWan Kenobi.  He looks too freakin' cute!  He was on the announcements at school this morning in his costume for having read 2oo books so far this school year.  What a hoot!  He asked if he can eat candy for dinner tonight.  Umm... that would be a NO!  He is loving the cooler weather.   Oh... and he has a MASSIVE crush on his teacher.  She can do no wrong in his eyes.  Talk about sweet.  Riley just finished his first season of flag football.  His team didn't win a game, but they had a blast.  He LOVES his trophy.  He has it displayed next to his pet hamster, Schnicklefritz's home.  He wants to make sure his little buddy can see it at all times.  He is one funny fellow.

Madeline is a princess.  Ummm... well...  hmmm.... We shall see.  She picked out the costume but really is a non-conformist like her mother.  I have a sinking feeling she will be outside tonight in her candy corn shirt, jeans and sparkly princess shoes without a  princess costume.  Madeline will turn three next Wednesday.  Talk about breaking a Mama's heart.  How on Earth did we get to this point.  It is just overwhelming.  She is too darn smart, too.  She knows her colors, counts past ten, recognizes several letters, has an opinion on EVERYTHING and sings, sings, sings.  She knows the days of the week in English and Spanish... she can also count in Spanish.  Her teacher at school is bilingual and teaches the kids both languages.  What a sponge!

Jerry is being ever patient with all of my drama.  He is a good guy.  (Don't tell him I said that or I will deny it.) 

I am revving up for surgery on November 21st.  I am sooooo ready to get this over with.  I am looking forward to feeling better.

Enjoy the weekend with your family.  We will be coming down from a sugar high.

Kisses!

Nuclear Stress Test.. not so good

Okay, I have been having cardiac concerns for a few weeks now.  With the 911 call and two days later a visit to the ER a few EKG's, and MRI, and more, I knew a cardiologist visit was soon to follow.  A week ago Monday I had my first visit.  Loved him!   He asked a million questions, was proactive and really wanted to get to the bottom of what is going on.  So... last Wednesday and Thursday I spent the days sporting a fashionable and quite trendy heart monitor.  Let me tell you... I can rock a holter!  ha!  Being the clausterphobic person I am, it was not fun... but I just did it.  I knew it would give more information to figure out what was going on.   I thought.. whew!  If I can do this the rest will be easy.

Silly me.

This past Monday I was scheduled for an Echocardiogram with bubble (sounds fun, huh?  I love bubbles!) and a Nuclear Stress Test.  The doctor said to expect about a 4 hour visit.   Jerry went with me... cause you know this is causing him to worry and panic.... and all was off to a good start.   

I was hooked up to the cath thingy in my arm.  Radioactive stuff was sent in.... then off for the Echo.   Well... during the echo the cath sprung a leak.  Nothing like a little blood going all over me and the room.  Very exciting.  People came running, trying to get it to stop.  Jerry looked like he had had enough at this point.  I felt fine... just hoping it wasn't getting on my cute little skort.  (You know... that is important during all of this!  PRIORITIES!)  They get the geyser to stop and continue the test.  What should have been about 10 minutes ended up taking about 40.  The good part of this was we only had to wait another 5 minutes before the Stress Test guy came to get me.

So... into the big revolving chair I went.  This is not designed for short people.  With my arms above my head, feet dangling, I was told it would be about 20+ minutes I had to sit completely still in this machine.  SO... I tried to get comfortable (ya right!) and find my Zen like place to ride out this part of the test.  I did it.  No problem.   Things were looking UP!!  

Next, they took me to the treadmill.  I was hooked up to my second set of electrodes for the day.  The fun part this time was when they used the human sand paper to make sure they had a good contact.  It hurt!!!!  I was tough and joked around the entire time.  They explained to me that the test would contain an initial 3 minute warm-up walk and then the treadmill would get faster and be on a more steep angle.  They would be monitoring my vitals and give me more radioactive "stuff" when I reached optimum heart rate.  They said the test could last as long as 30 minutes.   So, I get on the treadmill and start walking.  I fell confident.. and somewhat athletic.  (I think I look GOOD walking all confident and tall.)  Less than 2 minutes into the test the Dr. starts acting quite alarmed.

Well... my heart decided to jump to above the optimum rate in less than two minutes.  This is virtually unheard of for people of my delicate age.  The Dr. sent the Tech over to me.  He asked how I was feeling... and then my ears went numb.  Hmmm... guessing this isn't a good sign. ;-)  So.. the Dr. decided that was it!  Test done!   In less than 3 minutes my Nuclear Stress test was ended.  

No clue.

I go back next Monday to discuss results and to figure out the next steps.  They offered me no information, insight or options.  

I am thinking it will be fine.   I know it is probably something that a little pill can help.

No worries... just don't want to do that stress test again.  It tends to scare everyone around me.  I was fine, but everyone else in the room was not.

I don't like to make things easy for people.