A Little...... sad

It is strange how I still get a little sad and very bothered by people's comments about refusing referrals based on gender. I really don't understand. Maybe I am just hypersensitive because it feels as if people are rejecting Riley. I am so fiercely protective of my children.

I think it bothers me that some of these same people are adopting from China due to the plight of abandoned children. You see, yes, the majority of the abandoned children are girls. This is a gender issue. The majority of the children are being denied the ability to be raised by their biological family based on gender alone. So... I really don't understand how people adopting can use this same discrimination logic when discussing receiving an unexpected referral for a son.


Okay, okay... I understand... everyone has reasons for the requests they have made. We even requested a daughter last time AND this time. Yup, we have reasons. That being said... we could NEVER deny our child based on gender. Would we need to step back and regroup again? Yes. Would we be shocked beyond compare that it happened again? Yes. Would we have to repaint and redecorate? Yes. Would I mourn the loss of the child I dreamt of? Yes. Would I have to step back and re-evaluate EVERYTHING? Yes.

Would I lovingly accept the child referred to me regardless of gender? Yes. I did this with Riley and would do it again in a heartbeat.

I am sad that people perpetuate discrimination under the guise of righting a wrong. Gender selection goes against everything the United States has worked to equalize over the past century.

I hope people will realize that there are those of us, with unexpected and unrequested sons from China who are hurt by the very strong and opinionated vocalizations of denying a son. It is far too personal to me.

This is probably the reason I have really not bonded with the adoption community. I feel like an outsider because people are very quick to make a black and white statement about something they truly have NO idea how they would handle unless placed in the situation.

I certainly had no idea how I would handle this situation before going through it.

So... I am a little.... sad. I feel a little.... left out. I feel a little..... out of the loop.

I will take that in order to support and defend my son. I guess that is really what I am doing. Defending Yuan Dong Bao... Riley... my surprise, miracle son whom I love with all my heart and more.