BooHoo

Back to work tomorrow. How can that be?? I am just so sad. I have loved each and every minute I have been home with Miss M. Where have the last three months gone to????

Tomorrow the boys and M will go to Nana's house for the day. The boys don't have school, but teachers have a planning day... so in to school I go. Nana will watch Madeline for two weeks. After that DH is home for a week. I have the week after that off for Spring Break. M won't have to go to the sitter until the second week of April... which is good.... but, I just want to stay home with her. I have spent the past three months trying to figure out a way to stay home and have an income. I just can't seem to find anything that will work.

I have decided I will continue to look for something during the remainder of the school year and through the summer. I am also thinking that many just a change of venue might help... maybe a change of career paths. I don't know. I have been teaching for 17 years. I enjoy my job... on some levels, but on others I feel this extreme need to move on. I don't know if it is just time or what. I just know that the past three years, teaching has become a job. In the past it has always been a joy. I can't put my finger on any one thing that has caused the change, but I have certainly changed.

Maybe getting back to work will help me to sort some of this out in my head. I know that it is going to really be much more difficult than ever before. I LOVE being a Mom. Mom and wife are the two best things in the world to me. They are what keep me human. They are what keep me sane. My family is.... just so much more than I ever imagined.

So... back to work I go tomorrow. I know a few tears will be shed... hopefully only by me and not by Madeline. I just don't know if I could ever walk away from her when she needed me. Say a little prayer, keep us in your thoughts... life is changing and it doesn't feel good at all.