I have completed two weeks back to work. Yuck and Yeah. Okay.. the yuck is... I miss my baby! I truly do. I just want to be home being Mama. I do like my work.... I really do....it just pales in comparison to being a mother. Going back to work has been much more difficult than I ever imagined. I really did not see this coming at all. It has kind of knocked me out of my boots, so to speak.
The Yeah part is that after this week is Spring Break. DH has his Spring Break this week so he will play SAHD this week. Next week I get to be HOME!! Woohoo!!! After Spring Break I have 7 weeks of work before a 12 week Summer. 12 WEEKS HOME!!! I have already started to make our Summer plans. We have booked 5 days at Disney... theme parks, character dining, swimming, FAMILY time!! I can't wait!! I think knowing that is planned may help me to focus over the next two months.
The boys are doing great. I think they are very happy to have me back at school. Teaching at the same school that both of them attend is the absolute biggest perk. I get to see them both during the day... a little wave, a blown kiss... nice. It certainly helps to push aside the Missing Maddie Blues for a few minutes.
I have been avoiding blogging about my feelings the past two weeks since I have been in such a funk. I know it is only going to get better... and if I am supposed to be a SAHM it will happen.
By the way... I really appreciate the support of all of my blogging friends. What a special little world it is. I have "met" some of the most outstanding people since I started blogging. What a special, unforeseen gift.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Now I lay me down to sleep..
I pray to You as I quietly weep.
I pray for my child in a far away place
I pray for some strength and Your heavenly grace.
I pray for a woman who will give you birth
I pray that she knows this childs true worth.
I pray for her protection from anything bad
I pray that my daughter or son will never be sad.
I pray that this woman will do what is right
I pray that someone find you before it is night.
I pray for your safety day by day
I pray that with us is where she will forever stay.......
P.S. I changed some of the pronouns and gender specific language to make sure boys were included. Most things written are for girls.... but I have to take care of my little guy!
I apologize to the author......
I pray to You as I quietly weep.
I pray for my child in a far away place
I pray for some strength and Your heavenly grace.
I pray for a woman who will give you birth
I pray that she knows this childs true worth.
I pray for her protection from anything bad
I pray that my daughter or son will never be sad.
I pray that this woman will do what is right
I pray that someone find you before it is night.
I pray for your safety day by day
I pray that with us is where she will forever stay.......
P.S. I changed some of the pronouns and gender specific language to make sure boys were included. Most things written are for girls.... but I have to take care of my little guy!
I apologize to the author......
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Boys
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pou nd Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response tim e.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pou nd Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response tim e.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Monday, March 19, 2007
BEING A MOM
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she
and her husband are thinking of "Starting a family - We're taking a survey,"
she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?
"It will change your life," I say, carefully, keeping my tone neutral. "I
know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous
vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide
what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth
classes....
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but
becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she
will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without
asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every
house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children,
she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no
matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the
primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!"
will cause her to drop a soufflé.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested
in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an
important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She
will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just
to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather
than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right
there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
independence and gender identity will be weighed against the
prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself
constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she
will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about
herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a
child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but
will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams,
but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become
badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change,
but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful
to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think
she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she
would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout
history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby
who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her
to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my
eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the
table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and
for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this
most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who
may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your
heart!
Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself.
Psalm 63:3
and her husband are thinking of "Starting a family - We're taking a survey,"
she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?
"It will change your life," I say, carefully, keeping my tone neutral. "I
know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous
vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide
what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth
classes....
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but
becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she
will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without
asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every
house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children,
she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no
matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the
primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!"
will cause her to drop a soufflé.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested
in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an
important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She
will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just
to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather
than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right
there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
independence and gender identity will be weighed against the
prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself
constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she
will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about
herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a
child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but
will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams,
but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become
badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change,
but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful
to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think
she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she
would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout
history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby
who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her
to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my
eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the
table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and
for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this
most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who
may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your
heart!
Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself.
Psalm 63:3
WHOSE CHILD IS THIS?
Author Unknown
"Whose child is this?" I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play
"Mine", said the parent with a tender smile
"Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should"
"Whose child is this?" I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in
"Mine", said the teacher with the same tender smile
"Mine, to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school"
"Whose child is this?" I ask once more
Just as the little one entered the door
"Ours" said the parent and the teacher as they smiled
And each took the hand of the little child
"Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever."
"Whose child is this?" I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play
"Mine", said the parent with a tender smile
"Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should"
"Whose child is this?" I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in
"Mine", said the teacher with the same tender smile
"Mine, to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school"
"Whose child is this?" I ask once more
Just as the little one entered the door
"Ours" said the parent and the teacher as they smiled
And each took the hand of the little child
"Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever."
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