My boys

I am so lucky to have my boys. I think that is something I can take for granted at times. Whenever it is referral time, I really get a little emotional going back to our referral for Ri. I can remember vividly waiting anxiously for the phone to ring. I refused to even walk to the front porch. I wanted to be close to my paper and pencil so I would remember to write down all the details.

The phone rang....

The voice on the other end asked if I was ready. Duh! Of course! (I had been ready since the day we decided to adopt a daughter from CHina. I worked diligently on our dossier and patiently awaited referral day. Now it was here!! I wanted to hear all about my little girl.)

I told the person, of course I was ready. Then she said... I mean it. Are you ready? YES!! My husband sat down in the chair next to the sofa where I sat. Then the voice said.... "It's a boy." What? Huh? How can that be, I thought. I asked the voice... are you sure you are calling the right family. She assured me she was. I mouthed the word "boy" to my husband. He looked at me like I was crazy. I jotted down a few things the person on the phone was telling me and then I interrupted her. I said... how can we have a son??? We requested a daughter. She said.."What????" I explained to her that we requested a daughter, not either or boy. She paused.... a LONG pause. She then said someone else could call us back. I told her I wanted the rest of the info. but was truly in shock. I wrote everything down, hung up the phone.

I then told DH everything that was shared on the phone. We were flabergasted. We had NEVER heard of anything like this. I felt as if I had walked into a sliding glass door... My brain knew something had happened, just couldn't figure out what. After about 5 seconds, I knew that this little boy that was referred to me was my son. I cried. DH was amazed at how quickly I knew.

A few minutes later the phone rang again. A bigwig from our agency got on the phone. She has pulled the copy of our dossier and verified that we indeed had requested a girl. She asked what we thougth. I told her to email me my baby's picture. I needed to see my sweet son. She emailed the picture and boy was I in love. He was the most beautiful little peanut in the world.

I cried. DH cried. We cried together. I cried some more. I had a son!!!!!! Strange how I knew he was mine.. even with the violet nursery and little dresses hanging in the closet. This was my baby.

Our son, James, was so excited. We told him about his brother.... shared the pictures. He looked at me and said the most amazing thing. "WE GOT WHAT WE WANTED, MOM!!! A BABY!!!!!" Talk about wisdom beyond his years. We, in fact, did get what we dreamed of... a baby. Now, we didn't expect the outdoor plumbing, but boy, he was perfect.

We then drove all over town showing our families our new addition. The surprise and shock on their faces was priceless. I have heard we looked a little shell shocked ourselves.

Now, my two boys play, laugh, fight, giggle... share, bicker, hug, kiss.... smile, cry, love and adore each other. They are brothers through and through.

When referrals come around I am always amazed at the harsh comments people make when the discussion turns to unexpected boys. I feel the need to defend by baby. I do feel as if this has, in some ways, isolated me from the rest of the Chinese adoption community. I don't really feel like I fit. I see everyone posting and growing friendships. I sit back and watch the show... wishing a little that a friend was out there for me.. but not willing to stop defending my amazing son so to not make waves.