The ABCs of Waiting for Referral

-Ask everyone about baby names and then laugh at all their
suggestions.
-Buy clothes that will be the wrong size/gender.
-Cook meals big enough for 3 and then wonder why your spouse is
getting so large.
-Drop hints to your adoption agency about checking in with the CCAA
and then worry that they'll get irritated.
-Eat anything that's not moldy and then wonder if you and your spouse
will have to buy yourselves extra airline seats.
-Field 213 daily calls from friends and relatives asking if there's
any news.
-Go shopping for necessary baby items and then freak out that each
one you buy will jinx/delay your referral.
-Have nightmares about getting to China and being handed a sack of
flour wearing a blanket sleeper.
-Itemize your packing list at least 25 times.
-Joke about getting a referral for a 17 year old boy with no arms or
legs, then secretly worry that it will really happen.
-Kill a ladybug by accident and then cry uncontrollably for two
hours.
-Lose your mind, then get it back. Repeat as needed.
-Mention "I'm expecting a baby this winter" to anyone who will
listen, then giggle when they look at your flat belly.
-Needle your spouse about anything slightly shady in his/her past
that might be delaying your referral.
-Order Valium off the Internet from some sketchy company in South
Africa.
-Pester your Frequent Flier program about how many seats they have
left for every single day in January and February.
-Quarrel with anyone who asks "Why are you adopting internationally
when there are so many needy babies here at home?
-Register for baby gifts at several large discount supercenters, only
to realize that they all use Chinese sweatshop labor.
-Switch to socially responsible stores for your baby registry and
then listen to your family complain about the prices.
-Take an infant CPR class and freak out when you drop the doll on its
head.
-Update your immunizations and then beg for a lollypop, because those
shots hurt!
-Vodka. `Cause you can, unlike those silly pregnant ladies.
-Worry. A lot. About everything.
-X-ray proof your photo bag so you won't lose one frame of your new
baby sleeping, pooping, screaming, crying, vomiting, or ignoring you.
-Yell at your pet/spouse for not being a baby, then hug it because at
the moment it's all you've got.
-Zorro. Z is always for Zorro.


(This was posted on our June-July DCT site for GWCA.)