How Do I Know the Wait Is Too Long?

Did you ever have one of those weeks that you just can not believe actually happened?? Well, that as last week for me. I guess the past ten days or so have been full of unbelieveable ups and downs.

On September 9th I was so lucky! My great friend, Kathy, from college and I went to see the play Rent! WOWOWOWOW! It was fantastic! I had not seen the play or movie. I had heard a lot of the music though. We were in the third row and almost center. Talk about the best seats in the house!!! We both enjoyed every minute. I think what made it even nicer was that Kathy and I rarely get to do things alone. When we pledged AOII over 20 years ago we were inseparable. We are still so close. As time goes by and we all grow and change... there are truly only a very few great friends in our lives. Kathy is that to me. We laugh and say things to each other that make our families just shake their heads. We find each other to be very funny... though those around us think we are..... odd. That is part of what made the night fantastic. Great entertainment and even better company.

September 10th I had to work at the Buccaneers game. As much as I LOVE football season, it is work. It was very busy and draining, but a great way to touch base with my friend Ilene. Ilene and I met almost 13 years ago. We taught, literally, side by side for the first 5 years. We have worked at the stadium together for the past 9 years. She is just such a good person. She likes me even when I make my really bad, and to be honest, off color jokes. She is the kind of friend who just accepts me for me. Spending the weekend with two friends was a good thing.

On September 11th, I think, we are all haunted by memories. I was just more on edge, felt unhappy. It is unreal how much emotion still lies just beneath the surface.

The rest of the week was a work nightmare!! Nothing went right... we argued, we bickered, we all cried... I was OVER it! I was hurt, frustrated and disappointed with the people around me. I just knew I couldn't put up with the petty nonsense. So... we all had it out, put the cards on the table and tried to move forward.

The adoption rumor mill was virtually nonexistant. I was so frustrated. (Heck, I still am.) I wanted news... any news... even if it wasn't good news, I was up for it. Nothing... nada, zilch, zip, zero. No news... for me was bad news. My mind went into overdrive and I convinced myself this adoption was never going to happen... Okay... yes, PMS was in full swing too.

I bickered with Jerry. I was not very patient with the boys. I was unhappy at work. I was sad because I wanted my baby. I was just done, cooked, kaput!

So, I went into this weekend just ready for a break. I got just that. I found a minute to take a deep breath. I found a minute to shave my legs without having Riley jump into the shower withe me. I found a minute to surf the net and watch some soaps.

Now... I think I am ready for this week. It will be better than last week... that is a given. I may not hear news, work may not be perfect.... but I know the wait has been too long and I am ready for my baby. I just need to take those few precious minutes here and there to help heal the bumps and bruises. All will be well.. really... all is well.