Well, the rumor mill is up and running. It seems so early in the month to start hearing rumors, but MAN.. this one is a good one. I don't know why I have it so set in my mind that we will receive our referral in October... but I just can't even wrap my brain around anything else. I have thought October for several months now. Of course, September isn't even a possibility and to some October is a stretch, to me... October would be wonderful.
I have been having so many dreams lately. I have dreamt about the baby several times. I have had such vivid dreams of holding her, having her placed into my arms... it just is going to be magnificient.... truly magnificient. I am so looking forward to smelling her baby smell, to kissing her tiny little toes, to whispering my love for her in those sweet ears. I am looking forward to watching her brothers hold her lovingly in their arms... well at least James will.... Riley, well that one is a crap shoot, could go either way... love or war.
I am looking forward to taking a picture of all my children together.... I am looking forward to cute dresses, little do dads in her hair, pink and purple and girly things. I am looking forward to her torturing her big brothers. I am looking forward to big belly laughs and her sweet breath when she sleeps in my arms.
The first time I tip toe into her room and watch her sleep in her crib will fill me with such emotion. Just the thought of it makes my heart fly. She will be everything we dreamed of and more than we could have ever hoped for.
What will I do the first time she says Mama? How will I feel the first time she runs into my arms embracing me in her arms? When will I know that she knows for sure that I am her mother and will never leave her? Who is holding her now, telling her that someday soon she will have her own forever family? Where is she now while she waits for her family? Why did her birthmother have to leave her to be found? Was it necessity or obligation??
I love her already.
October will do just fine.
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2 comments:
You must be sitting on pins and needles!
I think it'll be October too I've just got this feeling...October is a lucky month for me now too since Kacey was born on the 15th!!!!!
I'll be rooting for you and a BIG BATCH for September so you don't have to worry :)
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