Another Day Down

Another day of waiting for our TA is down. I just keep thinking that every day we have to wait is one day closer to Miss M. Somedays I believe it and other days I think that is a big old pile of poo! haha I just so want to hold my baby. I want to get this huge change in her little life done. I know she is getting ready to go through this difficult transition. She needs us... though she doesn't know it yet, and we need her.

Christmas shopping is almost done. I have some odds and ends to get. It has been fun shopping for the boys. Riley is LOVING Christmas this year. He just gets it. He was terrified of Santa so he just saw him from a nice safe distance. James went up to Santa, blushing and still full of belief. It is kind of sad. I really think this may be his last Christmas believeing. He is such a sweet, loving boy.... so innocent, naieve and true. His innocence just shines like a big beautiful light at this time of the year.

I have given my principal the dates I plan to take for leave. I have to complete the paperwork this week and turn it in. It feels a little strange filling out this paperwork when our TA is no where in sight.

Another agency who also had some TA issues, received TA's today. I would so love to see this as a good sign, but just kind of wonder if theres were just late in being sent. We will know soon enough. I am hoping that worst case scenario is TA at the end of next week.

My parents bought Madeline's carseat for us. We love it! As we add things to our home for her she feels more real. I try so hard not to stare at her picture endlessly because it is difficult to know we have no clue when we will be allowed to bring her home. Placing just a tiny bit of distance between her and I has been what I have had to do to protect my heart and head.

I have spoken with our agency a few times in the past few days. It has helped my stress level tremendously. I still don't entirely buy the line they are giving us for the TA delay, but at least feel they are trying to be available.

So... we continue to wait and love our children, near and far. We will be a complete family very soon.