The Good, The Bad and the Cute (No Ugly in Babyland!)

The Good
Well, my team at work had a shower for me yesterday. It was just so nice and thoughtful of them. They really put a lot of thought and effort into it. I am sure it was probably the very last thing people wanted to do on a Friday right after work hours, but everyone was so positive. It was such a wonderful time. I enjoyed every minute. I am so blessed.


The Bad

A package from CCAA arrived on Friday containing TA's. Now, you may think that is a good thing, and it was.... for TWO families. Yes, only two families of the remaining 11 received their TA's. Our agency did not even have the common courtesy to call us. We received this news through a very impersonal email. I was sad. Jerry was ANGRY. We just can not believe this is still dragging on. As things sit right now, our best case scenario is that we receive TA's by Tuesday and then we can travel on 12./28. If TA's don't arrive by Tuesday, the earliest we will travel in JANUARY 4th! How can that be???? I really have lost so much faith in our agency. They should be doing EVERYTHING in their power to make something happen. They can't even give us an explanation as to what is going on. It is just so upsetting.

The Cute

I went shopping today!! The boys and I jumped into the car first thing this morning. We bought EVERYTHING we still needed. (Actually, we bought everything I could think of that we still needed. I am sure I will have a reason to shop a little bit more for Madeline before we get a chance to travel.) It was so much fun!! We bought bottles and baby wash, tights and toys. We just had a blast. The boys loved picking out things for their sister. We were even able to finish shopping for Jerry for Christmas. This excursion was exactly what the doctor ordered. It put me back in a happy place. Being distracted by doing things for Miss M, helped me avoid thinking about the fact that so many of our LID group are either in China now or leaving in the next few days. We will sit here and be just so thankful that they are not delayed as we are.

Life

Life has handed us one very difficult set of circumstances with this wait. We feel very.... alone. We also feel very supported. It may seem odd to think of those two feelings at the same time, but it is true. We are just so fortunate to have an agency LID who has not forgotten those of us still waiting. They are putting forth every effort to be supportive. It is just amazing. We do feel very alone, though, in this journey. To be still waiting while others leave is more difficult than I imagined. It is painful. I ache for my baby. I feel such distaste for my agency. I feel they have abandoned us.

We are preparing for the holidays and looking forward to bringing Maddie home. We will endure, though our experience has been tainted. It will work out as it should, though that is a very hard pill to swallow.