Plugging Along

The weekend is over and a new week is upon us. I am very thankful for this past weekend. As uptight and anxious as my hubby and I are feeling, we needed this weekend.

My best friend, Kathy, had a baby shower for us! It was just perfect. I really didn't think we would have a shower at all, so this was quite a wonderful gift. We had about 10 guests and then about 6 kids... all boys! I loved having my boys there since this was a party for their sister! Riley opened all of the presents for me. He was just too cute! He had orange D*rito lips. He would tell me to close my eyes, while he pulled the present from it's wrappings. He was just so much fun! He knew that the presents were not for him and didn't mind at all. Heck, I think the unwrapping can be more fun than the presents when you are 4! James and the big boys played video games, fished and played ball out back. I really think this is how a baby shower should be... surrounded by family, kids included. A baby shower is a party to celebrate family. I loved that my entire family was there. Jerry was the photographer. I think he loved being there, too.

On a more... hmmm... frustrating note, I sent three emails to our agency on Friday regarding this entire TA fiasco. NOT ONE WAS ANSWERED! They did send out a nice form letter email stating they needed some travel info. by Monday. Heck! We don't even know when we will travel! The email was sent after the close of business so no one could even ask a question about it until Monday... which is the due date. That just doesn't make any sense. I don't even know if we were supposed to receive the email.

I have been very disillusioned by our agency these past few months. I outlined my concerns to them and, of course, received no response. Heck, they are sending out form letter emails that are word for word what was sent to us in 2003-2004! Several emails even have wrong phone extensions listed for the person sending them out. How can that be?? I guess I am just surprised and disappointed. I have always felt that we went with the best possible agency. Now I just feel stupid. They are a business. They are not going to push and shove to make sure their clients are treated appropriately. It is very sad.

We sit here and wonder when we will travel. Part of the frustrating part is that there are families who have been home from China for over two months now who sent their paperwork to China AFTER us. Sometimes it feels like we will NEVER travel. I know that isn't the case, but boy the frustration can get to you. We feel very alone and isolated in this process.

For our first adoption, when we received Riley's referral it separated us from the bulk of the Chinese adoption community because NSN, unrequested boy referrals were virtually unheard of. I think I stepped back some since I didn't feel like I had as much in common with the others. Now, I feel separated since we won't be able to meet and travel with all of these wonderful people we have met along the way. I was so looking forward to meeting my secret pal. I was also looking forward to meeting two other friends I have made along the way. Now, that won't happen. Traveling at a different time will keep us from meeting. I guess this adoption thing is just not meant to be the way I had hoped.

I know once I get Miss M home all of this will disappear. Having my baby with me is all that matters. Surrounding her with family and love is more important than any of my hurt feelings. BUT... she just shouldn't have to wait longer. (I know, I know... I have said this before.)

So, this week I am just going to try to get things done. I am going to plug along, stay busy and just try to find a smile. Smiles have been few and far between. I am hoping our agency will step up to the plate and at least TRY to communicate with us to help us through this difficult time.

Congratulations to those who received TA's. I hope all of you scrambling to get your new I-171H's will get what you need in hand so your children don't have to wait a minute longer than necessary to be united with you. Go get your precious children and hold them close. Shower them with love and kisses. Celebrate the holidays as a FAMILY. We will celebrate here, one special miracle missing, but in our thoughts and prayers.