Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from our home to yours!

James is wearing his football uniform.  His team just finished the regular season 10-0.  They are the number one seed heading into the post season.  Very exciting.  His 12th (gulp) birthday is November 11th.  I am taking him to see Phantom of the Opera on 11/9. He has been talking about it.  The final straw was when he left the Performing Arts Center window up on my  work computer with a note saying that this "looks cool".   Hint, hint, huh?  James just finished his first quarter of middle school and kicked some serious butt.  He is taking three periods of Gifted, Advanced Math, Band, and Reading.  What a smarty pants.  Obviously intellect is not hereditary since he is significantly smarter than his parents. 

Riley is ObiWan Kenobi.  He looks too freakin' cute!  He was on the announcements at school this morning in his costume for having read 2oo books so far this school year.  What a hoot!  He asked if he can eat candy for dinner tonight.  Umm... that would be a NO!  He is loving the cooler weather.   Oh... and he has a MASSIVE crush on his teacher.  She can do no wrong in his eyes.  Talk about sweet.  Riley just finished his first season of flag football.  His team didn't win a game, but they had a blast.  He LOVES his trophy.  He has it displayed next to his pet hamster, Schnicklefritz's home.  He wants to make sure his little buddy can see it at all times.  He is one funny fellow.

Madeline is a princess.  Ummm... well...  hmmm.... We shall see.  She picked out the costume but really is a non-conformist like her mother.  I have a sinking feeling she will be outside tonight in her candy corn shirt, jeans and sparkly princess shoes without a  princess costume.  Madeline will turn three next Wednesday.  Talk about breaking a Mama's heart.  How on Earth did we get to this point.  It is just overwhelming.  She is too darn smart, too.  She knows her colors, counts past ten, recognizes several letters, has an opinion on EVERYTHING and sings, sings, sings.  She knows the days of the week in English and Spanish... she can also count in Spanish.  Her teacher at school is bilingual and teaches the kids both languages.  What a sponge!

Jerry is being ever patient with all of my drama.  He is a good guy.  (Don't tell him I said that or I will deny it.) 

I am revving up for surgery on November 21st.  I am sooooo ready to get this over with.  I am looking forward to feeling better.

Enjoy the weekend with your family.  We will be coming down from a sugar high.

Kisses!

Let Go, Let God

I was listening to the radio earlier and a song came on that got me thinking. The song is a Christian song about releasing your plans and dreams. The actual song wasn't that moving to me, but the initial hook got my brain going.

When I was younger I had plans. My plans included marriage, having a house full of children, a successful job, big house, surrounded by friends and family. Now, in some ways all of my plans have been fulfilled. They have not, though, been fulfilled as I envisioned all of those years ago.

Jerry and I have been married for 18 years. We have been together for 22 years. During those years we have changed tremendously. We are VERY fortunate. We have watched friends and family marry and divorce. We have seen couples grow apart. We are so very blessed that our marriage has sustained. Not only has our marriage lasted, but we are closer and stronger than ever before. Yes, we argue. (I am usually in the right! HA!!) Yes, we are not the same people who met all of those years ago. We have changed drastically.... but we have changed together and never lost sight of our relationship.

When we were engaged we went to counseling through the Catholic church. We completed individual inventories on life and marriage expectations. We both wanted a big family. We both wanted 6 (gulp) kids. We both wanted to start getting pregnant about a year after marriage. We were both on the same page when it came to family.

We didn't see fertility issues in our future... why should we? We were both young and healthy. We never once even considered that this could be part of our life path. About 10 months after getting married we started "trying". We no longer used birth control. We just let life take it's course for 4 years before we really considered the possibility that something could be causing us to not get pregnant.

Eventually we decided to start having some tests run. It took about a year before we were finally told we had a 1 in 10 million chance of conceiving. Hmmm.. now, I am no Mathematician, but those odds just didn't sound good. We decided to buck the system and have IUI anyway. We took meds. Jerry gave me injections. On the day decided in a room full of doctors, interns and nurses we were inseminated. Two weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test result. We were elated. We were back on track.... for having those babies we so dearly wanted.

Nine weeks later I started bleeding... ALOT. I passed something big. It was obvious I was having a miscarriage... but I just couldn't believe it. We called our OB. We went to the ER. They did an ultrasound.... and there he was, JAMES! His little peanut body had a beautifully flickering heart! I had lost a baby.. and one remained. We had not known previously that I was pregnant with twins. That didn't even matter at that point. I was still pregnant. My baby was still growing inside me even though his sibling had left us. I spent the next 6 weeks in bed.

On November 11, 1996 James was born. He came into this world strong and healthy. He did not scream. He came here pensive and thoughtful. He is still that way today.

One year later we tried again. We get pregnant 3 more times in the next 18 months and miscarried within weeks each time.

We took some time off from fertility treatments. We enjoyed watching our son grow and change.

In 2001 we decided to try again. After 2 miscarriages we decided to stop for a few months. In January of 2002 we decided to try again.

I got pregnant. On February 6th I had a tubal rupture. I was rushed to the hospital. I had major internal bleeding. When they wheeled me into the OR, Jerry was told I might not make it.

Life changed instantly.

4 weeks before my tubal rupture a little boy was born in NanNing, GuangXi, People's Republic of China.

We didn't begin our adoption voyage until 2003. We decided it was not worth risking my life in order to add children to our family. Adoption, which had never been discussed before became our changed plan. God knew that we were stubborn. He knew that we would not see adoption as our journey unless He sent us a big message. My tubal rupture was that message.

Riley was born January 11, 2002. I had to have that rupture because MY baby had already been born in China. He was waiting for me... for us.... for his mother, father and brother.

During our initial adoption journey we requested an infant daughter. During our wait, James told us over and over again he wanted a brother. We had to explain to him, countless times, that he would have a sister.

When our referral call came, our lives were shook in a way I never imagined. The voice on the other end of the line told us that our infant daughter was actually a 2 year old son. James had his brother!! We had to repaint, redecorate and shop, shop, shop!!

We thought we knew the plan to our family but God knew better.

Riley was placed in our arms at 28 months old. He has filled our hearts and lives ever since.

During our wait for Riley, Jerry and I knew that this would be our last child. haha Silly. You would think we would have learned by now that we had to let God show us the way.

The minute we stepped foot in China in May of 2004 we knew we would return. It was a given. No hesitation. No real discussion. We both were certain that we would return again to bring home another child that God had chosen for us.

In 2005 we started the journey to Madeline. We had learned over and over again that all would work out just as it should. We knew that our child would come to us... male or female, young or older... our child was waiting.

Madeline has added a new dimension to our lives we never saw coming. She is strong, sassy and whew!!! temperamental. Jerry calls her my Mini Me. There is more truth in that then I really care to acknowledge! (Don't tell him I said so!!)

In the last 22 years years we have Let Go and Let God many times. We made a move to a city we really didn't know at all... because we Let God lead us there. It has turned out to be the BEST move we could have ever made. Our children are happy. We have amazing friends and neighbors. We have all grown and blossomed as individuals since we moved. It was more than we could have ever expected.

After the move I took the leap of faith and changed school districts. I had been with the same district for 16 years! It was my comfort zone. I applied in the district of our new home. I was offered a job at our neighborhood school. I was scared to make this change... but I Let God lead me. This has been the best move. I work with amazing people. I have an outstanding principal. The boys have thrived.

Whenever we have Let Go and Let God lead us life has given us greater rewards and riches than we could have ever imagined our planned for ourselves.

We planned our life... but the plans we had made don't come close the the reality we have lived. Jerry and I sit together at night after all has quieted down around us and just marvel in our blessings. We appreciate and cherish all that we have been given. We know that the obstacles that have been placed in our way were there to lead us to this place of grace.

Life is good.

Getting Ready

We are slowly but surely getting ready for our big trip to Disney World. We are going to spend a week taking in the sun and fun. We will be staying at the Saratoga Springs Resort and Spa. This is where we are members of the Disney Vacation Club. (Best money we have spent in a long time...)

Jerry and I used to take in all things Disney prior to having kids. We would spend the weekend in O'Town every chance we got. We have always enjoyed the Disney experience... though we know not everyone enjoys it like we do. We have continued this each year as our family grew. Riley went to Disney about 6 weeks after arriving home from China. Madeline's first trip was about 3 months later.

We have spent the first week of July at Disney several times. It is always so much fun. Is there anything more American than Disney? (I know, baseball, apple pie and Mom.. but you get my drift.) Celebrating the 4th there is just so different. We love it. There are cookouts by the pools, amazing fireworks displays, red, white and blue EVERYWHERE! We love it.

So, we have been booking activities to fill our time. We will probably go to the parks 3 days. We will celebrate the 4th at a Luau at the Polynesian Resort. We will do the Ohana character breakfast, too on another day. We will probably take in some miniature golfing, swim a ton and just bum around the Disney property. Our resort has movie nights outside which we will enjoy. We may even take the boys horseback riding.

Our preparations are a little different now that we belong to the Vacation Club. We will be bringing breakfast and lunch stuff with us since our room has a full kitchen. We are going to splurge on dinners since breakfast and lunch will be on the cheap. I have started to shop and collect all of the "stuff" we will need. I have several bags of food and such in the dining room.

One of the organizational things I am facing is that I will be gone away on a girls weekend the three days before we leave. I have to be ready before I go with the girls or else I will be in deep doo doo! HA! I am hoping to be 90% packed and just do some last minute laundry the night before we leave. Crossing fingers here.

So, those of you who know me well, know I am in full list making mode. I have lists for my lists.. truly I do. I am an obsessive list maker. I have a food list. I have individual lists for each child divided into different categories such as tops, bottoms, unmentionables, toys, pjs, etc with quantities and exact outfits I plan to pack. I have a toiletries list... also organized by person. I have a list of comfort items for each child. I have a list of electronics. I could go on and on but then you would KNOW I am more than a little OCD.

I can't wait to take a million pictures of my children laughing, playing , swimming, sunning. I can't wait to sit by the pool with my book. I am just looking forward to an uninterrupted week of family time. That is really what it is all about. Spending time with "just us". That is what makes our vacations the best.

A Lump

One of my babies has a lump. The lump is located on the left side of the neck behind the ear, but lower. It is much larger than you would find at a gland. It is not an infection. It is not a cyst. It is about the size of a marble. It can be moved around, a little, but causes mild pain/discomfort.

The doctor said the good news is that it has not metastasized. It hurts me just to type that word. I thought I would throw up when the doctor said it. That is one of those words that a mother NEVER wants to hear when referred to her child.

The doctor has started running all types of blood work tests. Initial infection tests were negative. White blood cell counts were within the normal range. The doctor wants this done again. The doctor said we will run more tests. He said it could be an anomaly. He said we will continue to pick away at what this could be. He was not visibly worried.

So we wait.

I believe with all of my heart that my child will be fine. I believe this is an anomaly. Strange things happen to children. I can not even begin to imagine anything else. I won't allow my brain to go there.

Exodus 15:26

26 He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."

Proverbs 4:22

22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

First Week of Summer Break

Well, the first week of summer break was just what the doctor ordered. James went to football camp with three of his friends for the week. Jerry drove the boys to and from camp. He said the conversations between them was hilarious. They just loved spending time with each other.

Riley and Madeline spent their week home with me. On Tuesday we went to the free movie at the mall. We saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. This was Madeline's first foray into a movie theater. She did great. I think it helped that she got to hold the popcorn. Girlfriend is happy when she is in control of the food!! Riley laughed out loud several times during the flick. It is just the most endearing thing... listening and watching him just so happy. On Wednesday we visited Nana and Grampy during the day. We spent time destroying their home before going to lunch at Chick-fil-A. On Friday we picked up a gift for Nana and Grampy to celebrate their anniversary. It was so nice to stop by and drop off a surprise. They love spending time with the little ones and the little ones ADORE them.

Friday night James went to a sleep over at a friends' house. (This is one of the boys who went to football camp for the week, too.) He thought he was one cool cat being out and about, away from his family all week. The rest of us joined our neighbors and friends, the Edwards, for a dinner out. It was a really laid back and fun time.

On Saturday we ran a million errands. We spent time here, there and everywhere. The day really flew by.

Sunday was, of course, Father's Day. Jerry woke up to kisses from his kids and a gift. He was very pleased. We then went to brunch. After brunch we were off to the Rays game. It was so much fun. The game fell right during nap time so Madeline hit a wall in about the 6th inning. I took her out under the stadium to rocked her on a bench until she fell asleep. This allowed Jerry the opportunity to watch the remainder of the game with the boys. The Marlins beat the Rays, but it was still a great family experience.

After the game we visited with Aunt Kathy and Uncle Tim briefly. They live close to the stadium so we thought we would stop by. We then headed to my parent's home to share some Father's Day time with Grampy. Whew!! It was a busy day!!

I don't know if we can keep this same pace up for the entire summer.... but for a first week, it was great.

I soooooo love being home with the kids!!!

Summer is Here!

I can't believe it! Summer is here. Friday was my last day at work until August. I am so happy. I love being home with my children. It is when I fell the most "normal". Normal does not come easily for me, so this is a big deal.

Today James headed off to football camp at Jerry's high school for the week. He was so excited. He is being joined by three friends from the neighborhood, too. They are going to have a blast. All four boys love playing football. They all love being together, too. I think they are going to love every minute.

I am home with the two little ones this week. It is so neat whenever the group dynamics change. You just see a different side of them when you have them in different groupings. It is neat. Riley and Madeline currently have a love/hate relationship. They bounce back and forth from laughing to fighting. Generally, Madeline has taken something of Riley's or decided to hit or kick him to get a reaction from him only for him to eventually retailate by holding her down to stop her. This then brings about screams of discontent. Now, two minutes later the two will be laughing and playing and chasing and smiling. They give each other hugs and kisses. Siblings to the core, these two are. (That sentence was rather Yoda-ess, don't ya think?)

We bought a Wii this weekend. It was a combo. Jerry's birthday and James' leaving elementary school gift. Oh my GOSH!! It is so much fun. The boys played for over three hours straight yesterday. They were actually sweating! Jerry and James played golf last night and were laughing out loud. It was so fun to watch them. I like that the kids are active. No one is sitting around being lazy. Super fun!

I have a ton of pictures taken over the last week or so. I am going to work on posting some during nap times this week. The kids are growing and changing so fast!

I am loving every minute.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!!

Happy Birthday dear Dad!!


Happy Birthday to you!!


Today is my father's 66th birthday! He golfed. He ate cake. He was sang to many, many times. He is healthy and happy. It is a great day!!

Doing Great

Well, my father's surgery went well. I am sooo relieved. The doctor was able to do and see everything he needed to. Everything looks great. I was going nuts all morning. When my mother called I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. Whew!