Friday, May 26, 2006

Riley and Mom

We celebrated our two year milestone of bringing Riley home on May
22nd. As I look back at our time in China and right after we came
home there are a few things that I would love to share with everyone.
For those of you who have BTDT, this is old stuff... but thought I
would share.

While in China, Riley was 100% a Mommy's boy. He stayed very close to
me at all times. He didn't really cry at all. He was very quiet and
EXTREMELY well behaved. The majority of the other families in our
travel group dealt with grieving babies who only wanted Daddy. This
was very hard on the Mommy's. For several days some of the babies
would cry uncontrollably if left with their moms. I felt so lucky in
that regard.

When we g ot home, the tables turned. Riley tolerated me when he had
to be alone with me... which was a lot since I stayed home with him
for 5 months! If he got hurt, he wanted Daddy. If he was sleepy, he
snuggled Daddy. He kissed and hugged Daddy. He did not and would not
show me any signs of affection. It nearly broke my heart. I would
cry. I constantly had to tell myself... this little guy has gone
through more than I can ever begin to wrap my brain around. I now
understood what the other moms went through in China.

Thanksgiving weekend... a change happened. Yes, 6 MONTHS LATER! On
the Friday after Thanksgiving, Riley was sitting on Daddy's lap with
his blankie and milk snuggled all in. All of a sudden, he climbed
down from Daddy's lap and climbed up onto mine. He snuggled in and
drank his milk. He wrapped my arms around him. Needless to say, I
cried and cr ied. For some reason, that was the right time for him to
accept me as his mother.

Since that day I have received kisses, hugs and I love yous daily. He
allows me to soothe him, love on him and rock him. He falls asleep in
my arms.

Our babies will go through their own individual experiences. As much
as it breaks our hearts to think our babies don't know the love we
have for them... it can be a slow bonding process. Already I have
begun to prepare myself for a long bonding period. Now when I look
back I realize 6 months was nothing. At the time it felt as if Riley
would never love me.

If I can give one piece of advice it would be to remember that love
takes time. We have had what feels like an eternity to fall in love
with our babies. Our babies will not even know who we are when they
are placed in our arms. I learned that, truly, love takes time.

No comments: