Hey!

It's June!!! WOWOWOWOW! I am really so shocked that June is already here. I guess deep down inside I am really hoping referrals will pick up this month. It seems that as I turn the page on the calendar I have renewed hope. So much speculation. So many rumors. So much unknown. So much lack of concrete information. Sometimes I think I can feel Madeline in my heart. It is strange how your heart can ache for someone you have never seen or met. My heart aches for Madeline.

When I need to feel closer to her I go in her room and rock in the rocking chair. Lately, Riley has wanted me to rock him again. I love that! Kids grow up so darn fast. I miss being able to rock James. He did humor me a few weeks ago and sit on my lap in the rocking chair for about 15 minutes. We talked and laughed. It seems like just yesterday when Jerry surprised me with the rocking chair. I was about 12 weeks pregnant for James. We arrived home from an outing to find a very large box on the front porch. It contained the rocking chair.

I have been blessed to be able to rock both of my boys in that chair. Hopefully soon I will be rocking Madeline. The chair is about 10 years old now. It is starting to creak. It doesn't match the decor of the nursery... yet it is completely precious and perfect to me. All of my children, each such an individual miracle will have been rocked by me in that chair.

James, the baby we were were told we could never have
Riley, the boy baby that we didn't even know was an option... biggest surprise of our lives
Madeline, the baby girl who is somewhere in China waiting for her Mama to rock her.

The rocking chair has been a sleep aid, a source of comfort, a warm place in Mama's arms, an avoiding going to be tactic, a soothing a bad dream place and so much more.

Who would have thought a rocking chair could be so important.