Monday, September 25, 2006

Learning Patience

As a child we heard all the time... be patient. I don't think I learned patience until recently. Life lessons are truly something we learn throughout life. Patience I have only begun to learn as an adult and parent.

My children teach me patience each and every day. I have learned to not just react... but to think first. I know, I know... we tell our children this all of the time.. but I don't think I have learned this until recently. I am learning that what a child says and what they mean can be very different things... don't just jump to a conclusion. I am learning that sometimes being careless is just about being a kid. I don't have to get upset, but can turn a mistake into a bonding moment where trust is fostered. I have learned that sometimes kids do realize they have to go to the bathroom 5 minutes into a car ride when they did try to go before we left home. That used to drive me NUTS!!

This adoption is teaching me patience. Nothing about this process falls into a time schedule like I would like. The delay in our dossier being logged in taught me patience. The wait from LID to referral has expanded from 6 months to over 13 months right now for us. This is teaching me patience. Reading and rejoicing with families who have already received their referral when we want nothing more than to see our daughter for the first time is teaching me patience.

As an adult, taking the high road is teaching me patience. I have learned that I can react or listen. If I listen and still don't like what I hear... I can either take action or move on. Moving on is a practice in patience. Even a friend can do something that hurts and not mean it. How I react to it is what I have learned. Sometimes it can be better to avoid a conflict and let go of something you don't agree with if it is for the common good and peace of all. I don't always have to be right and everyone doesn't have to understand my point.

Money and being able to walk away from it... is teaching me patience. Allowing money to ruin a relationship is a choice. One can get upset and make grand proclamations or one can try to figure out what is really behind another's actions as a way of support. Sometimes people act out towards others only because they are hurting. This idea is one that I am working on learning patience with.

I am not a patient person... but I am learning. I am learning to prioritize. I am learning to listen. I am learning to think before I act. I am learning that to be a friend... sometimes it means letting a friend get away with something. Not everything is black and white.

My goal is to be the best wife, mother, friend and teacher possible. In order to do this I still have many lessons to learn. Learning lessons is not easy or comfortable. As a wife, patience is the key to a successful and happy marriage. If we love someone we find patience. As a mother, patience is a way to teach and model for our children our expectations for them. As a friend patience is agreeing to disagree and not holding a grudge. As a teacher patience is for students, co-workers, and parents alike.

Patience is respect.

The journey may be difficult but the life is worth the work.

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