Difficult Questions

I was off reading different blogs from other adoptive families and one post caught my eye. It was about difficult questions are children have or will ask. That post pushed me to write now.

Riley has started to ask some difficult questions. He is 5 years old now, and has been home for half of his life. I don't know why I wasn't ready for these questions, but I wasn't. Now, the conversations they have brought between us are so precious and meaningful. They have helped me to find my way as well as help him find his way.

One question Riley has asked quite a bit is about whether he grew in my body. I have told him he grew in his birth mother's body, but now mine. I also have told him that James is the only baby that grew in me. I think it is important for him to know this. He has asked if he came out of my body. Again, I have had to try to explain to him how things actually happened. It is really such a difficult concept for a small child to try to wrap his brain around. He is slowly getting it.

The other question that came up recently was about baby pictures. Riley was looking at a picture of Jerry and I holding James at his baptism. James was baptized when he was less than a month old. Riley asked me if the baby in the picture was him. I told him that it was James. Then I showed him a picture of his baptism. Riley then asked where was his baby picture. I then told Riley that the youngest picture we have of him was right before he turned 2 years old. I told him that he didn't come home until he was 2 and a half so we don't have any baby pictures of him. I explained that we have 2 year old pictures. We talked about how 2 years old is still a little one. He seemed comfortable with the explanation, but it broke my heart.

You see, we have a picture of Madeline at 6 weeks old. That is a baby picture. We have pictures of her at 7 months old. Again, that is still really young. Of course, we have pictures of James from before he was born (ultrasound) up to his current age.

At some point in time, I think, this may be something that hurts Riley's heart. He is the only one we don't have baby pictures of. That is tough. I think about the little "fun" activities I have participated in where you bring in a baby picture and everyone tries to guess who it is. He doesn't have a baby picture. I guess I never thought about that before. Maybe that "game" is not such a good one.... maybe insensitive...

So... this has me thinking.... and learning... and growing as a mother.

Tough concepts, difficult questions.... enveloping him in love and answering his questions, while giving him a strong faith to turn to is all I have.