Friday, February 09, 2007

Is it a Sign or a Desire?

Okay, I am very serious with this post. I have been hemming and hawing about writing about this for almost a week now... but decided to put it out there.

About a week ago I started having these dreams. Now, I usually do not remember my dreams but these have been filling my awake time as well. I just can NOT shake this.

I have been dreaming about a baby from Ethiopia. A week ago I didn't even know whether or not someone could adopt from Ethiopia. After the third straight night of having these dreams I decided to hop on line and see if Ethiopia adoptions were possible. Well, they are.

For some crazy reason.. I don't know if it just my desire to have two boys and two girls... maybe the coming down from completing our adoption of Madeline... maybe I have lost my mind.... maybe I am just thinking too much... or maybe it is a sign.

I have spent many waking hours researching Ethiopian adoptions. I find the thought just creeping into my head at the strangest times. I have even found out the timeline, costs and different agencies who specialize in this.

Why?

I don't know.

I am so happy with my family as it is right now. Everyone is doing great. Everyone is happy, healthy, bonding, content.... all of the things we pray for.

Why is this in my head then? I have no clue.

I have mentioned all of this to Jerry and he thinks I am joking. Maybe I am... maybe I am being led in this direction for a reason. Maybe I am just not ready to accept that Madeline is my last child.

Jerry and I have always wished for a large family. For many people, three kids is a large family. For us, we always thought we would have four or five.

Where this will lead us? I have no clue. I do know that, for now, this is not a possibility. BUT... maybe I am supposed to take this time to learn all I can about Ethiopia and then see where this road leads.... it may not be to another baby, but to something different.

Hmm.... who knows.

2 comments:

owlhaven said...

All the best to your family as you consider this. There is such need there....

Mary, mom to many, including 2 from Ethiopia


http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com

B-squared said...

Maybe both. :-) I've been thinking about adopting again too...of course, I was already thinking about this before we brought K home. I get the eye-roll from my husband (the whole dont-get-ahead-of-yourself thing), but not a no. :-) I'm thinking a domestic adoption this time - an African-American baby or biracial child. Although admittedly, I've already checked out a website for an agency specializing in adoptions from Africa.
Good luck with your decision, Mary! I'll watch this space for updates!
Take care!
bb