All Three Miracles

My Surprise Boy

Big Time Living!

Life in our neck of the woods has been busy. It has really been a great summer so far. It is amazing to think we are counting down now. Here are a few of the things that have been keeping us busy.

1. James is getting braces. WOW! We have visited the orthodontist, scheduled appointments and are getting ready for the added monthly expense. His poor teeth are a mess. They are crowded and coming in wherever they can find a spot. He will officially become a brace face on 8\16..just a few days before starting 5th (gulp) grade!
2. Swimming, park and friends, oh my! We have been partaking in all things summer. We have been swimming almost daily in our community pool. We have been swimming at friend's homes, too. I think we may be a little waterlogged. We have also been heading to the park in our neigborhood after dinner many evenings. We all hop into the golf cart and spend a hour playing.
3. Are you sitting down... ready? I actually played tennis the other night. Don't faint. It was... fun... and exhausting. It felt good and awkward all at the same time.
4. We bought furniture for our lanai on clearance at Target! Woohoo! We love it. It was 50% off. We opened a Target account and got another 10% off. Got to love deals!
5. We bought a backseat for the golf cart. Now, those of you who don't know us need to know we do NOT live in a golf community. Many families in our neighborhood have golf carts to get around the neigborhood in. We use our almost daily. Now, we did not spend big bucks on the cart. We bought it for a whopping $100! Jerry considers this his pet project right now....painting it, having a decal thingy made for the front, reupolstering the seat... now adding the back seat. I am telling you... if he could snuggle that thing in bed, he would. He LOVES the golf cart!
6. Madeline is teething... AGAIN! She is not sleeping well... and therefore neither am I. It breaks my heart to see her in pain and struggling. She will point to her mouth and say "owww" over and over again. Poor baby!
7. We are getting landscape edging installed in the front of our home. It is going to look so nice! We can't wait
8. James and I are going to see the new Harry Potter movie tomorrow night with my friend Maeve and her son, Tyler. James and Tyler are becoming good friends. This is a nice perk for Maeve and I.
9. James' new Harry Potter book will arrive tomorrow! He is so excited! He has been reading a ton this summer. He is actually trying to quickly finish the third Gregor book before his Harry Potter book arrives tomorrow.
10. Riley is really into doing two things every day. First, he loves to pretend he is hibernating. He will climb into the pantry, shut the door and snore. He will randomly announce, "I'm hibernating, Mama." Second, every day he pretends to marry me. Well actually, yesterday he had to marry Donald Duck first, then he married me. There is nothing that melts my heart more than when my little guy tells me, "I'm going to marry you today, Mama." It is so sweet!
11. James will be testing for his blue belt in karate next week! We are so proud of him!
12. Riley is registered for Kindergarten. I think I had to breath into a paper bag to deal with the fear. How did he get this old?
13. Madeline LOVES to whisper. It is adorable.

Now.... for the biggie!!

Jerry and I actually went out... and left the kids with a babysitters Before last week they had only stayed with family when we went out. Jerry has a very difficult time with the whole babysitter stuff. One of the collegiates from AOII came over and stayed with the kids. It was so nice. I am hoping we can do this again soon!

Well.. that is just some of the excitement around here lately.

Enjoy!

Sisters to the Rescue!

Jerry and I have been on a mad hunt for baby sitters. We...meaning Jerry.. weren't comfortable with using high school students. So.... we were really at a bad spot. When my parents aren't available we didn't have a sitter. This was not fun.

Now, I am the VP of the Corporation Board for AOII at USF. I have been in this position for three years... though it has not required me to have a lot of contact on a regular basis with the collegiates... it has allowed me to help from home as needed. I have recently taken on more responsibility and I LOVE it!

Moving on....

So, I fired off an email to the Property Manager at the house. I asked her if she thought any of sisters would be interested in babysitting.

Are you ready.....

-within 24 hours I had 4 responses!! YIPEE!!!! One sister is even going to sit this Saturday night! Woohooo!!!

I have to tell you... what a great feeling to know my sisters are there for me and my family. There is a comfort in knowing a sister will be staying with my children. I know they will be in good hands.

When I went away to college I never imagined myself in a fraternal organization. Heck, I went through Rush just to keep a friend company who wanted to join a sorority. I ended up joining and she ended up dropping out!!

Now, still.... I love AOII. It has brought me friendships, support, encouragement and confidence. I can be out to dinner with my family wearing my letters and be approached by another sister. The bond is instant. The bond is real and true.

My sisters are there for me... and I am there for them. What a gift!

The Story Continues

Well, my friend from HS, I learned, was involved in some very hurtful conversations about me. She had heard someone accuse me of saying something I WOULD NEVER, EVER say in my life. She didn't stand up for me. She didn't ask any questions. She didn't even tell me this conversation occured. She did participate in spreading this story around.

Over the next two months when my husband and I would arrive at these gatherings of "friends" he was greeted and treated kindly. I was treated like an exile.. like I had the plague. I didn't know why. I had no clue what was happening. After feeling VERY uncomfortable and VERY unwelcome I told my husband I was not going to another gathering. He didn't understand. He asked me to go to just one more... to see what happened. So I did. This was a good and a bad thing.

We went to the gathering. The icy cold reception was blatantly obvious. My husband and I left within minutes.

The next day our phone rang. Another woman from our group of friends called me. She told me that when we left the party.. the group that had been so cool to me.... cheered. They literally cheered when we left. She asked them why. They then told her that someone said I had said something terrible. This person told them that I would NEVER say anything like that. She told them that I was not the kind of person who would do that. She asked them where they heard such a thing. It seems it was all second, third and fourth hand information. A true someone had told someone else who told someone else kind of thing. My "friend" from high school never defended me. She never questioned the person who told her this story and she NEVER told me what was going on.

To say I was hurt is an understatement.


Well, I decided to never spend time with these people again. I have stuck to that for 12 years.

The fact that someone who had been such a very close friend of so long didn't defend me.. changed my ability to make and trust friends. I spent many years keeping a distance from people... not wanting to get hurt again. Not letting anyone get too close.

A year and a half ago we moved into our new home. We met new families. Slowly I have started to allow myself to make friends with our neighbors. This has not been easy. I had to do this though. I had to try again.

A few months ago we received an invitation to a party for one of the men from this group. This same group that we have had NO contact with for over a decade. We declined the invitation.


This past Saturday we walked into a surprise birthday party for a friend. As we entered the door.... my "friend" from HS was there with her husband and another couple from the group. I wanted to walk out the door.... but I didn't. I said hello and moved on.

The rest of the night a few little questions were asked by my former friend... and I answered politely... but cooly. When we left the party.... I cried. It all came flooding back to me... but this time was different.


These are the things I learned.

1. I don't have to be friends with anyone I don't want to.
2. I can go to a social gathering where people who have hurt me are... and still be okay.
3. I can't hold others up to my expectations of myself... but I CAN decide these are not the people I have to spend time with.
4. I can make friends again.
5. I am a strong person who likes other strong people.
6. My friend was a childhood friend. Growing apart and moving on is normal.
7. I can be sad that something bad happened and not have it haunt me forever.
8. I deserve more.

So...this week has been full of signs that I am in a good place.

Three friends have called and invited us to do things in the next week.

I called a friend for a visit.

My co-worker called and invited me out to lunch.


I can actually have healthy, normal relationships with others and trust again. I can also walk away from hurt and not feel compelled to go back. I worried about that one. I am strong enough to be polite and not get sucked back into the drama.

That is my story.

This is more of a therapeutic post. It is one of those things that I just need to "talk" about in order to try to figure things out. This is a long story, so I won't be offended if no one reads beyond this first paragraph. It is a true story. One that still effects my ability to trust and have riends to this day.

In 1981 I entered high school. I attended a small Catholic high school. About 70% of my class all went to elementary and middle school together. We knew each other well. I wanted to meet new people... really experience high school so that it would be different from middle and elementary school. The first week of school I met this very shy girl. She was very sweet and kind. She had a sense of humor few would be lucky enough to get to know. I really liked this girl. We became fast friends. I think she liked me for my outgoing, wacky ways as much as I liked her for her reflective ways. We were an odd pair, but it worked. We remained best friends all through high school.

As we entered our college years I went away to school. She stayed home and attended the local community college. We spent our vacations together. We still remained close even though we only saw each other when I was home from school. I joined AOII and made new friends. Yet, my HS friend and I remained close.

After college I got married. A year later my friend got married. Our husbands became friends. We felt so lucky that our lives had grown and changed in so many ways yet our friendship was still strong.

A few years later our circle of friends grew to about 8 couples. Nonetof us had kids. We spent at least one weekend night each week together. These were such fun and crazy times. What a crazy bunch we were.

Then something happened.

This was almost 12 years ago... but I remember it still so well. I still am hurt. It changed EVERYTHING. It changed me. It changed my ability to trust. It changed my self confidence. It taught me to be cautious. It taught me to think. It taught me alot about friendship and expectations.


I will continue this story soon.......

My Three Miracles

This was taken on Saturday. I absolutely LOVE how much fun they have together. Yes, there are times when they fight.... but... nothing compares to the times that they laugh and play together. I am one lucky Mama.